1. Check the dirty laundry. While you woman is in the shower, check her bra and panty size. Nothing ruins a sexy gift of lingerie quicker than buying her something two sizes too big. No matter how good she looks, she's self concious about her figure.
2. You are not shopping for Heidi Klum. Be realistic about your selection of lingerie. Buy something appropriate to your woman's body type. Does she have a baby belly, and an awesome rack? Shop a baby doll which draws the eyes to the cleavage, and covers the belly. That corset may look hot on some 90lb boob jobbed model, but your woman will hate it. She may actually want to draw a breath at some point in the evening.
3. Don't be shy. When you are at the lingerie store, get one of the ladies to help you. Now don't be a creep about this, but try to pick out a sales lady with your lady's body type. Give her your woman's measurments early, and she can lead you to something appropriate.
And again, don't be a creep. Keep your eyes on the task.
4. KISS Keep It Simple, Stupid. Think of lingerie as gift wrapping. You want easy access. You do not want to be fighting with a half dozen doubleback hooks, behind her back, while in the throes of passion. A drawstring at the cleavage is perfect. Fun and easy to reveal the prize inside.
5. Complete the package. So you've got some lingerie she will look hot in. Does it need stockings? Again, consult with the sales lady. Buy her favorite wine, or choclate covered strawberries.
2. You are not shopping for Heidi Klum. Be realistic about your selection of lingerie. Buy something appropriate to your woman's body type. Does she have a baby belly, and an awesome rack? Shop a baby doll which draws the eyes to the cleavage, and covers the belly. That corset may look hot on some 90lb boob jobbed model, but your woman will hate it. She may actually want to draw a breath at some point in the evening.
3. Don't be shy. When you are at the lingerie store, get one of the ladies to help you. Now don't be a creep about this, but try to pick out a sales lady with your lady's body type. Give her your woman's measurments early, and she can lead you to something appropriate.
And again, don't be a creep. Keep your eyes on the task.
4. KISS Keep It Simple, Stupid. Think of lingerie as gift wrapping. You want easy access. You do not want to be fighting with a half dozen doubleback hooks, behind her back, while in the throes of passion. A drawstring at the cleavage is perfect. Fun and easy to reveal the prize inside.
5. Complete the package. So you've got some lingerie she will look hot in. Does it need stockings? Again, consult with the sales lady. Buy her favorite wine, or choclate covered strawberries.
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by The Jerkman December 28, 2011
Get the Rules of Lingerie Shopping mug.by Tets June 14, 2008
Get the Rumplestiffdick mug.Related Words
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by Father Aristotle Dy February 18, 2019
Get the Rules Of Survival mug.very conservative way of playing madden, punting on all 4th downs. Kicking field goals if within 20 yards. Many squib kicks towards the end of the game or half. Taking QB Knee to run the clock out. Never throwing the ball into traffic, constantly throwing it out of bounds. Slides with the player who is running with the ball to avoid risk of fumble. All in all, just playing the game in a way that makes you an absolute fucko.
by chaseisafaggot October 21, 2014
Get the pasic rules mug.Hey Sam, Each drink has Bottle Rules. The Jack Daniels Bottle rules are, you must include a toast to Jack himself. The Makers Mark must be drank while naked. Each Shot of Wild Turkey must be accompanied with a text to your Mom. You have to take your shirt off when drinking Cuervo.
by DSeanK January 16, 2015
Get the Bottle Rules mug.When travelling the normal rules and conventions around appropriate times to do things are relaxed.
They are relaxed such that no one should be judged for drinking, sleeping, eating etc. at what would be normally strange or judged.
Pint of beer at 7am? No problems.
Breakfast at midnight? You got it.
Shots at brunch? Why not two!?
These are know as Airport Rules.
They are relaxed such that no one should be judged for drinking, sleeping, eating etc. at what would be normally strange or judged.
Pint of beer at 7am? No problems.
Breakfast at midnight? You got it.
Shots at brunch? Why not two!?
These are know as Airport Rules.
8am in the airport.
A "Would it be wrong to have a scotch and Coke with my eggs?"
B "Airport rules my friend"
A "Scotch and Coke it is!"
A "Would it be wrong to have a scotch and Coke with my eggs?"
B "Airport rules my friend"
A "Scotch and Coke it is!"
by Salty Albatross April 11, 2020
Get the airport rules mug.If one of the group calls “Brighton rules”, then every pub seen on a route from location A to location B must be entered and a pint each consumed. Clarifications: must be a pint, and must be a pub as per the standard definition (no “bars”).
Ed’s called Brighton rules, keep an eye out for the next pub as we have to get a pint. And the one after that, and after that..
by slea May 30, 2021
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