proctological legerdemain

The art of magically pulling a project quickly out of your ass.

You: "The boss just went to lunch. He told me to create a new website so he can present it to the client when he gets back."

Coworker: "Guess you'll have to practice a little proctological legerdemain."

by Malgamere March 26, 2011

Proctophobia

Proctophobia- Fear of rectums.
Common among fenskers

also see asshole

I really want to feltch your ass man!, but i suffer from Proctophobia

by Dude March 27, 2005

proctological discomfort

royal pain in the ass.

With her constant moaning, Thelma was fast becoming a proctological discomfort.

by the real pappapittmudman April 23, 2006

proctoid

An employee at P&G is called a "proctoid". Often used for starters at the company.

We have a new group of Proctoids today coming in the office.

by Proctoid January 23, 2011

Forensic Proctologist

Someone who looks up your arse to see what crawled up there and died

Man you need a forensic proctologist. That is pure evil.

I went to see a forensic proctologist but he choked to death when I farted.

by Smelly Fella January 17, 2009

Proctorhexis

(Procto-rex-us)
(Noun) the sate of a torn rectum; an asshole that has been ruptured, whether it be natural ex: a life-altering shit, or artificial ALMOST making it over that fence on a rainy day; the literal equivalent to "I'll tear you a new asshole"

If you defy me, I will perform proctorhexis on you

Dude, he suffered a major case of proctorhexis, just look at the size of his bunghole!

by gotbored,wannamakeyoulaugh December 5, 2011

proctonaut

Another in a long line of slang terms referencing male homosexuality.

The catenation of Proctologist and Astronaut.

Alas, the life of a proctonaut was not for him. You see, during a particularly energetic masturbation session, he launched a payload of his own manthrax directly into his open mouth. In retaliation, he immediately projectile vomited it right back at his crotch.

by -Awesome- February 14, 2006