by miahurheh March 16, 2023
Get the caitlin armitage mug.An A-to-Z assortment of petty matters dat hafta be decided in court:
AArbitration: Legal wranglings regarding how long you hafta attend sobriety meetings.
barbitration: Gavel-banging decisions regarding da design of fishing-hooks.
carbitration: (1) What your health-foods-fanatic parents subject you to regarding how sweet/starchy your diet is allowed to be. (2) Da overly-picky/onerous rules dat da DMV dictates to us.
farbitration: Bu**s**t rules regarding longer distances.
garbitration: What snooty grownups foist upon you regarding your clothing choices.
jarbitration: Regulations about glass screw-top containers.
marbitration: Statutes da deal with dents and scratches in an objects paint/finish.
parbitration: What Goldfinger would have liked to take his "wrong-ball game-forfeiture" disappointment with James Bond to.
tarbitration: Legal proceedings regarding either tobacco by-products or da sticky messy goo dat they seal roofs with.
warbitration: What two opposing armies eventually resort to when they see dat they are too closely matched for one of da other to win their battle.
AArbitration: Legal wranglings regarding how long you hafta attend sobriety meetings.
barbitration: Gavel-banging decisions regarding da design of fishing-hooks.
carbitration: (1) What your health-foods-fanatic parents subject you to regarding how sweet/starchy your diet is allowed to be. (2) Da overly-picky/onerous rules dat da DMV dictates to us.
farbitration: Bu**s**t rules regarding longer distances.
garbitration: What snooty grownups foist upon you regarding your clothing choices.
jarbitration: Regulations about glass screw-top containers.
marbitration: Statutes da deal with dents and scratches in an objects paint/finish.
parbitration: What Goldfinger would have liked to take his "wrong-ball game-forfeiture" disappointment with James Bond to.
tarbitration: Legal proceedings regarding either tobacco by-products or da sticky messy goo dat they seal roofs with.
warbitration: What two opposing armies eventually resort to when they see dat they are too closely matched for one of da other to win their battle.
Additional alphabetic arbitration terms are possible is you alter da spellings slightly:
arbortration: Laws governing either drill/lathe-mandrels of vertical-frame landscaping.
barbertration: Stipulations on when/how you can get a haircut.
Farbertration: Dictates what kitchen gadgets may be used.
harbortration: Stupid rules governing a safe anchorage.
arbortration: Laws governing either drill/lathe-mandrels of vertical-frame landscaping.
barbertration: Stipulations on when/how you can get a haircut.
Farbertration: Dictates what kitchen gadgets may be used.
harbortration: Stupid rules governing a safe anchorage.
by QuacksO December 29, 2023
Get the alphabetic arbitration mug.Examples of "alphabetical arbitraries" include:
barbitrary: where ya gotta endure "pricky 'n' pokey" things, either real pointy-tipped objects or verbal "jabs".
carbitrary: where walking, biking, or horseback-riding are not options for getting from Point A to Point B. Could also mean how someone wif a sweet tooth views rich-ingredient goodies.
charbitrary: what meals are if da food is excessively heated prior to serving.
farbitrary: only lengthy distances permitted.
garbitrary: no "birthday suits" allowed.
jarbitrary: everything hasta be stored in wide-mouth containers.
marbitrary: a clean unblemished finish is a no-no, like at a demolition derby --- you only win if you get battered around.
scarbitrary: similar to above; you hafta show visible "school of hard knocks" signs to comply/qualify
sparbitrary: what it is for sailors on wind-powered ships --- you gotta climb da masts, mates --- it's part of da job.
starbitrary: where you hafta either have astronomy skills, or be a Hollywood icon.
warbitrary: what da military-gear-obsessed officials at Nova Robotics Corporation (think Skroeder and Dr. Warmonger --- I mean, Dr. Marner) seemed to think... unlike Newton Crosby, they thought dat "blowing stuff up" was da only path to peace.
barbitrary: where ya gotta endure "pricky 'n' pokey" things, either real pointy-tipped objects or verbal "jabs".
carbitrary: where walking, biking, or horseback-riding are not options for getting from Point A to Point B. Could also mean how someone wif a sweet tooth views rich-ingredient goodies.
charbitrary: what meals are if da food is excessively heated prior to serving.
farbitrary: only lengthy distances permitted.
garbitrary: no "birthday suits" allowed.
jarbitrary: everything hasta be stored in wide-mouth containers.
marbitrary: a clean unblemished finish is a no-no, like at a demolition derby --- you only win if you get battered around.
scarbitrary: similar to above; you hafta show visible "school of hard knocks" signs to comply/qualify
sparbitrary: what it is for sailors on wind-powered ships --- you gotta climb da masts, mates --- it's part of da job.
starbitrary: where you hafta either have astronomy skills, or be a Hollywood icon.
warbitrary: what da military-gear-obsessed officials at Nova Robotics Corporation (think Skroeder and Dr. Warmonger --- I mean, Dr. Marner) seemed to think... unlike Newton Crosby, they thought dat "blowing stuff up" was da only path to peace.
by QuacksO July 11, 2025
Get the alphabetical arbitraries mug.Zak Perry-Armitage is a retard who had a meltdown because some kids wouldn’t let him look at them or grope them naked.
by 68356665868683058667838856 June 11, 2022
Get the Zak Perry-Armitage mug.The logical error of claiming that your perspective is objective while everyone else's is biased, without providing any justification for why your viewpoint deserves the "objective" label. This fallacy is the bedrock of punditry, editorial writing, and conversations with your uncle at Thanksgiving. The person committing it positions themselves as a neutral observer floating above the fray, while everyone else is mired in ideology, emotion, or self-interest. The reality, of course, is that they're just as biased as everyone else—they've just declared their bias to be the center of the universe, which is a very convenient way to never have to examine your own assumptions.
Example: "The pundit committed the fallacy of arbitrary objectivity daily, presenting his conservative opinions as 'common sense' and 'what most Americans think' while describing liberal views as 'ideological' and 'out of touch.' He genuinely believed he was objective, which was the most objective sign that he wasn't."
by Dumu The Void February 15, 2026
Get the Fallacy of Arbitrary Objectivity mug.The error of declaring certain claims to be facts and others to be false based on nothing but personal preference or tribal allegiance, ignoring evidence, expertise, and consistency. This fallacy is how someone can believe that vaccines are dangerous despite overwhelming scientific consensus, or that an election was stolen despite dozens of court cases and audits. Facts become a la carte: you pick what's true based on what feels good, what your team believes, or what serves your interests. The fallacy of arbitrary factuality is the death of shared reality, because if facts are just whatever you want them to be, then we're not having a conversation—we're just yelling at each other from different dimensions.
Example: "She committed the fallacy of arbitrary factuality in the group chat, declaring that a viral TikTok was 'facts' while dismissing a peer-reviewed study as 'just someone's opinion.' When asked why, she said the study 'felt wrong' and the TikTok 'felt right.' Facts, for her, were feelings, and reality was whatever she felt like believing."
by Dumu The Void February 15, 2026
Get the Fallacy of Arbitrary Factuality mug.A bias where an individual declares their own perspective to be objective while dismissing all others as biased—without any justification for why their perspective deserves the "objective" label. The bias is arbitrary because the criteria for objectivity shift to always favor the biased party: what's "objective" is whatever they believe, whatever their side says, whatever serves their interests. This bias is the foundation of punditry, of editorializing, of the confident assertion that "I'm not political, I just believe in common sense" (where common sense means my opinions). The Bias of Arbitrary Objectivity allows its holder to feel rational while being utterly unreflective, to claim neutrality while being deeply partisan. It's the bias that denies it's a bias, which is what makes it so effective and so dangerous.
Example: "He introduced himself as 'just giving the facts, no bias.' Then he spent an hour presenting one side of every issue, dismissing opposing views as 'ideological.' The Bias of Arbitrary Objectivity meant he never had to examine his own assumptions—they weren't assumptions, they were just 'reality.' When challenged, he didn't defend his views; he defended his right to be the arbiter of what counts as objective. The bias was invisible to him, which is how it worked."
by Dumu The Void February 20, 2026
Get the Bias of Arbitrary Objectivity mug.