for horny bitches:
i heard my parents car finally leave the drive, running to the draw filled with dildos and lube. i ripped off my clothes until all that was left was my thong. i gently started to rub my pussy, feeling instant relief and wanting more. i ripped off my panties, enjoying it even more raw. the more i rubbed, the more vigorous i got. it was throbbing now, begging for those fingers to slide right in. i moaned at the thought of it, inserting my middle finger into my clit, pounding it in and out. but 1 wasnt enough, my index finger slid in along with my middle finger going as deep as i could. cum building up, rubbing and fingering myself even harder to the point my legs were shaking. the adrenaline was insane, building up until i moaned so loud my throat hurt. i couldnt stop moaning, it just felt so good. i needed more, i craved more. i slammed my draw open and pulled out my dildo. i placed it facing upwards on my floor and yanked my fingers out of my pussy. i started to bounce on it, turning into aggressively riding it and pumping it into my body. god it felt so good. my pussy was dripping wet. i could feel the cum about to leave my body, clenching to not finger myself even more. this lasted a few seconds before it squirted out of me, launching across the room and landing on my door, dripping down. the moan that came out of me was the best one yet. i couldn't help but rub my pussy even more until my brother came in my room. not realising he was home, he said
i heard my parents car finally leave the drive, running to the draw filled with dildos and lube. i ripped off my clothes until all that was left was my thong. i gently started to rub my pussy, feeling instant relief and wanting more. i ripped off my panties, enjoying it even more raw. the more i rubbed, the more vigorous i got. it was throbbing now, begging for those fingers to slide right in. i moaned at the thought of it, inserting my middle finger into my clit, pounding it in and out. but 1 wasnt enough, my index finger slid in along with my middle finger going as deep as i could. cum building up, rubbing and fingering myself even harder to the point my legs were shaking. the adrenaline was insane, building up until i moaned so loud my throat hurt. i couldnt stop moaning, it just felt so good. i needed more, i craved more. i slammed my draw open and pulled out my dildo. i placed it facing upwards on my floor and yanked my fingers out of my pussy. i started to bounce on it, turning into aggressively riding it and pumping it into my body. god it felt so good. my pussy was dripping wet. i could feel the cum about to leave my body, clenching to not finger myself even more. this lasted a few seconds before it squirted out of me, launching across the room and landing on my door, dripping down. the moan that came out of me was the best one yet. i couldn't help but rub my pussy even more until my brother came in my room. not realising he was home, he said
by sw@ggyp0tat0es February 22, 2024

Ethical masturbation does NOT refer to a literal act of masturbation performed ethically, rather, it refers to an act of self loathing and self deprecation done with the goal to ease one's mind, it is often done as follows (conversation example):
Ethical masturbator: oh no, big bad me did a big bad thing
a normal person: maybe do something about it, then?
Ethical masturbator: no, I will just sit here and talk myself down so that I feel like I have been true to myself and so I won't feel guilty about something-bad-that-I-did/something-bad-that-just-happened-on-it's-own even despite the fact that I did nothing to fix it.
another form of Ethical masturbation is doing the same exact thing but rather than just indulging in self-loathing, one might also start asking supernatural entities (gods, spirits, ETC) for forgiveness
Ethical masturbator: oh no, big bad me did a big bad thing
a normal person: maybe do something about it, then?
Ethical masturbator: no, I will just sit here and talk myself down so that I feel like I have been true to myself and so I won't feel guilty about something-bad-that-I-did/something-bad-that-just-happened-on-it's-own even despite the fact that I did nothing to fix it.
another form of Ethical masturbation is doing the same exact thing but rather than just indulging in self-loathing, one might also start asking supernatural entities (gods, spirits, ETC) for forgiveness
by Leo of the Харків December 28, 2024

An Urban Legend from colonial Southbend, Indiana about a Fisher man attending Fisher Town Hall meetings and parlor events to masturbate in public spaces. The townspeople banished him for ejaculating in the town’s lake. Legend has it, it you look too deeply into St. Joe’s river, the Fisher man stares back.
Frank: Do you that Greek story about that dude that fell in a lake or something?
Fred: Yeah, The Fisher Masturbator?
Fred: Yeah, The Fisher Masturbator?
by L*na August 2, 2022

by IDK BUT YOUR MUM IS GAY November 21, 2022

Well, when you realize that this is the most PURE ACT in the world which is proven by the ultimate ASSHOLE LEADER your ANUS MASTURBATE and that is why it feels so good most of the TIME when SHIT passes from your ANUS into the ASSHOLE to the outside world.
by NOBLE PEACE SUNDER EEE October 13, 2021

The act of listening and/or watching news media and opinions you disagree with to enjoy the fact that you disagree with it.
Sarah the atheist liberal enjoys listening to fundamentalist conservative Christian radio stations because she likes disagreement masturbation.
by qwartwater February 1, 2024
