Jesus Burrito

A Burrito made by Jesus. The holiest burrito known to man. Also see Moses Taco.

"Man, eating a Jesus Burrito is like going to church everyday for a month straight and then getting really bad gas."

by Joseph Mihalski February 5, 2004

Jesus pimp

One who perverts the good intention of Jesus Christs message for personal, political and/or social gain.

Benny Hinn is a Jesus pimp.

Bob Jones is a Jesus pimp.

by Harland Sanders August 14, 2008

jesus crispy

1) n. a religious automaton
2) n. a dogma spewing host of one of any potent viral meme complexes, for example, organized religion, political affiliation, or scientific paradigm.

John Ashcroft was annoitied with Crisco oil after he was appointed Attorney General. Dear God, now we have a Jesus crispy setting public policy. "Let the Eagle Soar" and the end come soon.

by Alienthropologist October 22, 2004

jesus freak

A self-professed Christian who labors under the mistaken impression that Christians are persecuted in this country, and that he or she is commonly persecuted for his or her beliefs. These people usually attempt to convert everyone they know or meet to their own denomination of "born again" Christianity, thereby alienating a number of non-Christians as well as Christians of denominations not of their own, then attribute their subsequent shunning by society to a fictitious, widespread anti-Christian mania.

Josh: "Hi, my name is Josh, and I'm a Jesus freak."
Tim "Hi, my name is Tim, and I'm Jewish."
Josh: "You need the love of Jesus in your life! Repent! You're going to hell!"
Tim: *walks away*
Josh: "Why do you hate me? Why must I be persecuted?!"

by the birds and trees June 15, 2007

Jesus Jizzer

A person who is so religious, they want to slam it in your face any chance they get. You can often tell even from their bumper stickers. These people are said to be "jizzin' for Jesus."

"Aww, man! They have the fish on their trunk AND they're going slow. Damn Jesus Jizzers!

by nicatnite February 20, 2011

Jesus Stans

Another name for Christians

Wow look at that group of worshippers, they are real Jesus Stans

by ynsmedia December 23, 2018

Jesus Hair

An incredibly long, dense, black hair that sprouts seemingly overnight. Tough like a pube, but if you had a full coat of them, they would be suave and stylish, like the beard of Jesus.

You are standing in front of the mirror, low and behold, your nip now bears a 2 inch long Jesus Hair!

"Bro! Like I totally shaved this morning, and look at that (pointing to neck), fucking trounced up on me like a mongoose! Fuckin rising from nothing and shit... Shiiit..."

by MBucher December 9, 2008