Turd Insurance

(noun) - the act of a person taking a friend with them to see a new movie at a theater, and paying for both tickets, for the purpose of making a potentially bad movie (i.e. a turd) more enjoyable for them.

Boy 1: Hey, Jimmy! I really wanna go see the new Spiderman movie, but I need some Turd Insurance. You interested?
Boy 2: Sure, but you're buying, right?
Boy 1: Of course! I'll even throw in popcorn and a drink, if you promise to sit through the whole thing.

by Jambo_11 July 22, 2012

Turd Tethered

When your brown snake is halfway out your back door, and the phone rings in the other room.

I would have answered the phone a minute ago, but I was turd tethered.

by ima_inspect_her_gadgets November 27, 2011

Turd Vertigo

The repeated motion of standing up/sitting back down on the toilet while trying to assess if ones bowel movement has run its course.

Named after its similarity to a person with vertigo attempting to stand up after being seated.

Also known as "Turdigo".

I can't get up off the toilet, I must have turd vertigo.

by njjg June 2, 2011

Turd Yacht

A person whose turdness is the size of a yacht!

Jimmy: Hey I just ate the last of the cake!
Lauren: It was my cake! I wanted it!
Jimmy: Ohh well.
Lauren: Your a turd yacht!

by xthexfilipinox January 4, 2011

Turd Blinkers

The single minded focus of someone who really, really has to take a crap.

Guy #1: What the hell, Matt just completely ignored me as he walked past!

Guy #2: Ahh dont take offence man, we had German food for lunch, he's probably just got turd blinkers on

by ArrV April 1, 2011

turd chomper

one who consumes feces

So I walked into the stall and i found this turd chomper chowin down

by bonjangelz April 30, 2011

Turd knife

The long knife that one uses to cut up with their turds in order for them to be flushed down the toilet.

I have to poop has anyone seen my turd knife?

by Intmd8er March 30, 2015