Masturbation

The more you masturbate the smaller your dick gets

Did you know you get a smaller dick by masturbation

by Weeb2021staysafe December 29, 2021

disagreement masturbation

The act of listening and/or watching news media and opinions you disagree with to enjoy the fact that you disagree with it.

Sarah the atheist liberal enjoys listening to fundamentalist conservative Christian radio stations because she likes disagreement masturbation.

by qwartwater February 1, 2024

tactical masturbation

It's a term for masturbating (or busting a nut) before meeting a girl or going on a date. Now.. how is it useful? Well it helps you to think with your brain and not with your dick.

My friend: Bro.... I made a mistake. I accidentally did the deeds with Lily...

Me: God damn Lily???? Bro you really should have tactical masturbation

by Harsit2006 December 29, 2023

masturbation betrayal

When you and a partner agree not to masturbate until a certain date but they do it anyway and make you aware of them breaking the promise.

David: “Gonna beat my meat, gonna beat my meat”
Me: “David!! That’s masturbation betrayal!”

by Spittingstraightfacts January 2, 2020

Masturbate

What the fuck is wrong with you jackoffs get a girlfriend already

I masturbate because im lonely

by 5Skin not 4Skin January 9, 2020

Masturbate

Verb

To stroke your penis up and down until white shit comes out the top.

I masturbate every night.

by Joetherealone September 29, 2021

Intellectual Masturbation

The act of thinking, discussing, and/or philosophizing to no one’s spiritual, mental, or physical benefit, but purely for the sake of one’s own pleasure, intellectual self-satisfaction, and/or pride.

Note: Not all intellectual and philosophical discussion is intellectual masturbation, it only falls under the definition when it doesn’t benefit those in engaged in it, only harms due to wasted time and an artificial satisfaction in one’s self.

I remember when all I would do was engage in intellectual masturbation on Discord. I would use fancy words and blabber all day about philosophy, without actually applying it in any way whatsoever. I just derived pleasure from hearing myself speak about such abstract and complex subjects. What a fool I was.

by Tea76Crumpets796 October 1, 2022