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turd wannabes

Loosely held together feces that is too solid to be considered diarrhea yet too divided and "small-chunkish" to be considered a turd. These inferior poop chunks are notoriously known for the pain and uncomfortable feeling they give. Since they consist mainly of water and generally have low-poo density (see Type 5 and 6 on the Bristol Stool Scale) these "fluffy pieces with ragged edges" will definitely sour the remainder of the day. Being in relationships to alcohol, these chunks almost always making an appearance during a DADS. Worse yet, they are forever jealous of the their more popular turd brethren. They are turd wannabes.
My DADS this morning was awful; it consisted mostly of water, pizza, and turd wannabes.
by Idontfunkwithyou March 13, 2015
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turd talon

The proper manner in which to describe the penis as it eagerly anticipates butt sex with the best wife ever!!!
Fuck a poop pigeon, the turd talon is about to dominate that sweet ass of yours...CACAW
by Freemilk March 11, 2020
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Turd Kohlhepp

A piece of shit from South Carolina, who killed many people
Turd Kohlhepp is serving 7 life sentences
by Jumbled McGobbledygook August 10, 2021
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Turd weasel

A small rodent type weasel/mouse who is often shown to be present by the droppings (feces) left behind.
We must have a turd weasel under the sink, I see all the droppings.
by Bufort T Cockles October 29, 2018
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Turd burglar

A person you do not particularly like who you have a suspicion burgles turds
Oi Dolan
Ye

Dude ur a turd burglar
Gooby pleaz
by Buttorange101 February 24, 2018
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Turd Tethered

When your brown snake is halfway out your back door, and the phone rings in the other room.
I would have answered the phone a minute ago, but I was turd tethered.
by ima_inspect_her_gadgets November 27, 2011
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turd blaster

A person who spend a lot of time in the toilet at work
Person 1: "Hey where's the turd blaster again?"
Person 1: "He's turd blastin a shatapult"
by r3r3.omfg May 28, 2016
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