blooper

when everything you enjoy is a mistake

person 1: what did i do wrong
person 2: everything
person 1: can you be more specific
person 2: you did everything wrong, blooper

by The-real-cobra-queen September 05, 2019

carpa veledigne

an indian girl who is really saucy and impudent. she needs to tone it down.

carpa veledigne piqued me so i scarfed down her spicy fish bites while she wasn't looking.

by The-real-cobra-queen September 12, 2019

Roasted cobra

When your soulmate mistakes you for your ex boyfriend and skewers you over the flames for a crisp edible treat. Usually due to some accessory he flaunted of a sparkling snake ring, and because he looked like the ghost of your soulmate. Notably different from an alligator barbecue, where it's actually the alligators eating a bunch of chocolate cake together. Common misconception.

My soulmate ate roasted cobra, but don't worry, he's not a ginger. He colored it with a Crayola marker. All good.

by The-real-cobra-queen June 17, 2018

law school

law school can be good if you keep up and are a swift reader, but it's horrible if you don't. you feel horrible like you could get a bad grade because there's a curve system and then kind of explode in tears.

the law school curve grading system makes me unhappy sometimes. when i was in high school, my good friend once told me "i hope everyone gets an A." this made me love and respect her so much, because she was so hard on herself and was valedictorian. now nobody is allowed to think like that, no matter how hard they work, not everyone can get an A in law school. it's devastating because we all came into law school with so much pride in our abilities and our acceptances into a school we love, and that sort of disintegrates with the curve system sometimes.

by The-real-cobra-queen September 07, 2019

morning turd

the kind of person who likes to wake up in the morning to get things done, but rather lays in bed entertaining harrowing and negative thoughts like whether their parents love them in a sort of cynical, half-hazed slumber

wow i should really wake up and make some coffee, i'm being a morning turd

by The-real-cobra-queen September 05, 2019

bitney spears

girl who makes tasteless jokes applying them more to the context of her own life without considering the sociological ramifications and how people interpret it negatively and get butthurt. usually this does not reflect her intrinsic notions of life but her foolish remarks are readily accepted in a manner that antagonizes her, much to her chagrin, but maybe it's her fault because she's being totally blithe. tactless wannabe comedian that people make voodoo dolls out of in private club meetings from which she's excluded.

oh there's bitney spears.

by The-real-cobra-queen September 11, 2019

coco

girl who is existentially paralyzed by a lack of self-awareness, privacy, and knowledge about the future or the major ripple effects of everything she does. rooted in heuristics, she speculates things endlessly to no confirmation. the essence of coco is, did i do something stupidly wrong without realizing it. the answer to coco is usually, yes.

coco, you've met with a terrible fate. you shouldn't have done that.

by The-real-cobra-queen September 05, 2019