Religion

Did I already do my take on this?

Religion "Well... You can't have what you want now... And maybe not ever... But if you do what I want you to do now... And then do that indefinitely... THEN... Then, you're DEFINITELY going to get what you want when you're dead! But do what I want you to do now because *insert semantic reconfiguration of reality to justify your subsidiarity to me*"

Hym "Do you have what you want, like, now or?"

Religion "Wha-er, What? Well... Yeah, I was doing the thing though."

Hym "Yeah... You say that... But I saw you NOT doing the thing and I don't believe that you're doing the thing when I'm not around..."

Religion "Well, umm... No, I did the thing..."

Hym "You certainly did A thing... What did you do? Wait... What's that book? You wrote it down? Lemme see..."

Religion "Umm... Yes?"

Hym "Yeahyeahyeah lemme see. I'm just going to bounce around... Ok.. Burned a city to the ground... Nailed an innocent guy to some wood... Killed a bunch of people and kidnapped their daughters!? WHAT!?"

Religion "Umm..."

Hym "Is THAT not YOUR little girl!?"

Little girl "Hi."

Hym "OHOHO! MAN! THAT... THAT is tragic! WOW! You are fucking twisted man. That is fucking twisted! Hahaha! You want ME to do THAT!?"

Religion "I mean... Yes?"

Hym "OK!"
😵🗡😁
Religion "HRRRGHK!!"

Hym "Hahahaha... *Sigh* Haaa... Now what do little girls eat? Do you eat priest?"

Little girl "No..."

Hym "Yeah, no I didn't think so... Hmm... I'll figure it out later."

by Hym Iam November 28, 2023

Religiophobia

Fear or hatred of religious people especially those of the Abrahamic religions, Judaism, Islam, and Christianity.

Tom: Religious people are suckers and morons.

Sam: That's religiophobia!

by Blue Kryptonite February 20, 2024

Religion

Religion (only in reference to wrong religion)

R = Right (even when it's wrong).
E = Elitist.
L = Lying (Well; they can't ALL be right)?
I = Ignoring the real problems.
G = Gimme!
I = Ignorant.
O = Ornery (means: burdensome).
N = Nonsense (again; some of it).

Religion is the Opium of the masses.

by Smeaglez April 10, 2024

Religious fuck boy

Someone who reads marsiyas, salaams, Nohas, etc and thinks he’s going to heaven cause of looking like he has some status in the community for being religious AND ‘cool’
Upon further investigation said fuck boy usually never dropped his balls, and developed a low enough pitch just to do the right thing

Uhlee mowe-sin is a religious fuck boy

by Miktionary April 20, 2024

religious watcher

Someone who is a very big fan.

"I'm a religious watcher of your shows."

by cosmic87rus April 25, 2024

Religion baiting

Religion baiting is a sub genre of fear baiting. It is type of content that usually starts with “scroll if you hate Jesus”. Which uses Religion as a way to stop you. And it uses fear of going to hell as a way to make you watch the video. The content creator then proceeds to tell you to comment, like, and subscribe if you love Jesus. It makes kids interact with their video pushing it to more people.

Some of the worst people on earth: “I have an idea! I should use Religion baiting to get more subscribers on my shitty Roblox YouTube Shorts account.”

by ALPHA-C May 1, 2024

Religion

Fire insurance for the hopelessly immoral.

"My religion will save me from Hell."

by Old-Crab May 2, 2024