masturbate

Lana was feeling lonely, so she opened "The hub" then she got wet, she started rubbing and a puddle of cum is now in her bed

I just masturbated

by poopystinkyanas May 20, 2022

Intellectual Masturbation

i.e. this is when one derives sexual pleasure contemplating an object or subject, and/or overthinking something outwith their expertise resulting in grandiosity from confirmation bias

She spent her days in intellectual masturbation over the one that got away...

by BitchfinderGeneral March 5, 2024

Religious Masturbation

Religious Masturbation.

Speaking about the supposed superiority of your religion, for the sole pleasure of listening to yourself and showing off to other members of that religion.

A religious leader preaching to the saved

Etymology: the religious counterpart to masturbation; i.e. a process that is very pleasurable but doesn’t accomplish anything in the end.

The preacher gave a nice example of religious masturbation; a preaching about conversion to the saved

by Lyreluthier October 15, 2019

masturbation meditation

A deep state of mind that allows you to cum with nothing touching your dick/vagina.

Masturbation meditation

by Reagulayte January 3, 2020

Masturbation

What 100% of men do and can’t go more than two days without doing it.
What 50% of women do while the other 50 never even has the desire to do...

Masturbation is the polite way of saying that you fucked yourself.

by Biden is a dick April 21, 2021

Amish Masturbate

To "Amish Masturbate" is to masturbate without the assistance of any modern technological advancements.
This means no screens, no porno, no vibrators, and no masturbatory aid of any kind.

Man, I've been watching too much porn lately. I think I'm going to exclusively Amish masturbate for a while.

by Epileptic Squirrel Rapist December 7, 2024

must masturbate may

something that does not exist like your dad

Joe "When is must masturbate may?"
Jeff "When your dad comes back."
Joe cries

by IDK BUT YOUR MUM IS GAY November 21, 2022