wanker

In a literal sense, a person who masturbates, but in a more commonly used way in the United Kingdom, an idiotic person who you hate. If you call someone a wanker, you are most likely referring to the more informal use of the word and calling them a wanker, but the irony of this insult is that it's probably true in a literal way (for about 95% of people), but you hardly ever mean it that way.

Literal: That wanker won't stop wanking!
Informal: Shut up you wanker!

by Cornish surfer boy June 7, 2021

Wankering

Being hung by your dick

Oh Ron I've been bad please wankering me by the fan

by Jeff ronin April 4, 2017

Poo Wanker

Someone who uses their own excrement as a masturbatory lubricant.

That guy over there is such a poo wanker..

by nofun March 16, 2014

Jay Wanker

A similar but not like comparison to jay walking, Jay Wanking is when a man who claims to be straight masturbates to gay porn and claims to call it disgusting.

"Hey Phil did you here that lizzies boyfriend is a Jay Wanker?" "No but doesn't he have a girlfriend that he plans on proposing too?"

by PHILSWIFTS- THE POWER OF ZEUS October 1, 2019

Waterbury Wanker

When you have a tiny, ginger micropenis and are also a molester

Don’t be a Waterbury wanker bro. A complete and total monkey spanker

by Rick Junk April 17, 2024

Mullet Wanker

Any lad with a mullet they’re all wankers with the weirdest fantasies

Bro: who invited Mullet Wanker to the party

Dude: He just came in

Bro: we’ll now he’s wanking over I picture of my Nan

Dude:*proceeds to shoot Mullet Wanker*

by Tranny Fanny August 1, 2022

Wanker

ollie fucking reed

"Why does he do that?"
"Because he's a weak, lonely wanker"

by tbrizzledizzle March 20, 2019