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church (h)usher

A Sunday-services attendant whose purported task is merely to see to da needs of da parishioners, but whose real job is to quell noisy stir-crazy children who would much rather be playing outside in da fresh air and sunshine, rather than being compelled to sit still and keep quiet inside a stuffy musty meeting-hall for two hours.
If churches would offer more-generous helpings of ice cream and/or an erectory as incentives to attend their boring sawdusty-dry sermons, there would likely be less need for church (h)ushers to be on hand to deal with crankily-impatient youngsters and teenage boys.
by QuacksO January 30, 2023
mugGet the church (h)ushermug.

Church Of NyJai

The church of NyJai there is no god only gods ruled under Queen NyJai
by Queen of Gods July 2, 2022
mugGet the Church Of NyJaimug.

Church of Charlie

Where Charlie’s Angels come to think, pray, and ask for forgiveness from the Charlie god.
I’m gonna go to the Church of Charlie so that badass is forgiven
by The Church of Charlie July 24, 2022
mugGet the Church of Charliemug.

Church Bod

Body type of your adolescent church crush - modest but seductive; looks great in a pair of jeans; girl next door; wifey material.
She ain’t a Kardashian, but solid church bod.
by mellowd June 23, 2021
mugGet the Church Bodmug.

blue church syndrome

When you're visiting Bratislava, and you've seen all the popular attractions but somehow you forgot to check out the blue church and now you're haunted by a pastel colored regret. Symptoms include : FOMO, obsesively checking google street view photos, and brainwashing yourself into thinking it wasn't really worth it after all.
"I just got back from Bratislava, and while I saw all the main sights, I totally forgot the Blue Church. Now I've got a bad case of Blue Church Syndrome."
by glenpai November 29, 2024
mugGet the blue church syndromemug.

Church Moth

someone’s son or daughter who is a satanist who’s forced to go to church on the down low
maggie: oh look patrick is in our church group
stefan: don’t say that maggie patrick is a church moth
by qq.madi November 21, 2021
mugGet the Church Mothmug.

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