Skip to main content

Wank Zone

The sacred time of disciplined commitment to ones self pleasure. This period is measured from the moment you initiate masturbation to the point ejaculation is complete and the jizz is disposed of.

The duration of the Wank zone varies from wank to wank due to a variety of contributing factors. However, studies of urban dictionary user's browser history and the average refractory period have estimated that this time can be anywhere from 90 seconds to 2 hours and 11mins.

Stimuli available at initiation and the proximity of either your spouse, children, co-workers or any other phenomenon can effect the duration and location you choose to enter the Wank zone.

Two popular strategies include the Top Deck and Clean and Jerk. Both can be performed hastily and efficiently in a bathroom under the cover of another activity. Typically, your device is positioned with a restricted viewing angle in case of detection (don't forget the mirror), volume down, blu tooth off and the exhaust fan on to enable more volume. Then stream your selected pornography (cumshot compilation or anal cum swappers are recommended) and enjoy being in the Wank zone!
Boris was fully established in the wank zone flogging himself silly when we barged through the door! Fuck it was funny! He said he was "just relaxing" as he extended his hand for an awkward introduction...John saw Boris's phone and was certain the female porn actress was urinating!
by LFBG2FG January 6, 2020
mugGet the Wank Zonemug.

global wanking

Our esteemed new President is denouncing global warning and will be completely screwing the planet, reversing any progress made to date on addressing Global Warming, climate change while building walls to keep the bad hombres out.
Rich: I need to get more sunscreen.
Tom: Why?
Rich: Brace yourself, President Trump is gearing up for a very big (or if the hands are any indicator, tiny) round of Global Wanking, pissing on our allies and accelerating climate change and global warming!
by JFed January 29, 2017
mugGet the global wankingmug.

Wank Cave

The location of which Jake Logan lives to masturbate and play with his wee man
What’s on tonight
“Off to wank cave to see Jake”
by Krisdemiltion November 12, 2018
mugGet the Wank Cavemug.

danger wank

jerking off in a place where you have a high risk of getting caught.
Dave wanted to danger wank in the Taco Bell bathroom, not in a stall, and he did. He almost got caught danger wanking but he put his junk back in his pants.
by omgitsme23 May 7, 2018
mugGet the danger wankmug.

Plank Wank

To perform the act of masturbation while laying on ones stomach then hold onto the ejaculation until rolled over to thus clean up the ejactulation.
Woah dude I had the best plank wank watching James OAT.
Jordan and Patrick were seen Plank wanking together!
by ThyReginator November 26, 2017
mugGet the Plank Wankmug.

Cry and Wank

Going to cry, and do something that makes us happy but there's a chance it won't do anything.
Person 1: "I'm going to cry and wank."
Person 2: "Are you alright?"
Person 1: "No."
by tiimos September 11, 2020
mugGet the Cry and Wankmug.

Burn wank

When you smoke marijuana for the sole purpose of masturbating.
I had a burn wank earlier and it made me very sleepy.
by John Sextant October 11, 2021
mugGet the Burn wankmug.

Share this definition