piddle wank

The art of masturbating. Only occurs when you havn't got enough energy and the spuff volcano trickles over your stomach.

"Dude, I'm so knackered I just had a piddle wank!"

"Bad luck dude...here's a tissue"

by Tris n Tim June 20, 2008

Sneaky Wank

A technique used by Corrode to polish one off in a room of men.

Fucking Corrode just had a sneaky wank in the bedroom!

by Guarana June 28, 2014

Business wank

noun. A bout of masturbation conducted purely for practical reasons. It can be enjoyed, but that is not its purpose. It is done solely to necessarily relieve high stress, drain one's blue balls, or because the next opportunity to have one off the wrist could be far into the future.

"Yo, what took you so long?"

"Sorry, I've got dinner with my girlfriend's parents tonight, then we're all staying at this place with paper-thin walls and we can't bang later, so I had to have a quick business wank."

by burnard August 17, 2014

wank packet

A former vessel of snack goods such as 'chips' or Haribo which has been emptied and substituted for tissue roll or a condom in the event of an untimely 'free' wank.
Typically made of plastic. Often the corners are torn to allow more room to aim the wank.

"You're a wank packet."

by wordcount September 8, 2014

Undercover Wank

When it's so cold in your bedroom, you have to keep the duvet on while you beat off

"Man, it was so cold last night, I had to have an undercover wank!"

by Eddiehimself November 26, 2014

Wanking wizard

Somebody who is so good at masturbating that the can cum whenever they wish, weather it be later or sooner

You wanking wizard you, you always have time for a quick one.

by Blumchuck January 12, 2015

wank bait

Seeing porn or hentai on a facebook which is pandering for likes!

"What's this post? Hentai, that's total wank bait!"

by rusty wank stain February 20, 2015