Church weed

Weed that doesn’t suck, but doesn’t get you wrecked either. Something you can toke, and then go out in public and not freak out.
A: Are you feeling alright? You’ve been on the same phone screen for like 10 minutes.
B: I’m straight. I’m on that church weed bro.
by Planet12 May 26, 2025
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church-prank

non-mean prank. these activities always:

1) leave the Recipient feeling loved, encouraged, &comforted.
2)anonymous surprises for the recipient. Give all the credit to Jesus Christ. This makes it even more fun, since you're secretly planning & carrying out a surprise for a person. Exceptions: a group completely pays off a person's debt etc
4) It is made to fit the recipient's specific needs. (example: Cindy was $20,498 in debt still from college loans. Cindy was "church-pranked" & received a check for exactly $20,498.
5)Choosing a recipient who has been discouraged, in a tough spot, had a close relative pass away recently, or in financial straights makes the "church-prank" all the better.
6)DON'T leave the recipients feeling worthless, scared, with any property damage, in a trash can, stuffed into a locker, with a swirly, or injured
7) if this act was done to ur pastor's daughter, would he be filled with righteous anger? no.
7) would you want this done to you? example, if u wouldn't want to find piles of poop on ur desk, it's not a church-prank to put poop on a persons desk. If u like to finding $20bills on ur desk, would someone else be encouraged if they found $20bills hidden on theirs?
8) church-pranks don't leave messes around & aren't illegal.
9)Does it bring someone closer to Jesus Christ? Does it leave the recipient thanking God? Does this act fit in with the loving, deeply caring, encouraging, comforting, good, creative character of God?
Frank couldn't afford to take his wife out to dinner. He got church-pranked when he opened an anonymous gift certificate for a dinner for 2.
Simon's old car broke down. He couldn't afford a car. Simon got church-pranked when his friends got together & bought Simon the new car of his dreams.

Sam went on a mission trip. He got church-pranked when he got home, only to find his lawn already mowed by an anonymous source.

Freddy the Freshmen went on his first mission trip. He was sad when he didn't see anyone get saved on the 1st day. Freddy cried himself to sleep. Freddy got church-pranked when he found a chocolate bar on top of his bag & encouraging Bible verses.

George, the receiver for the college football team, got into a car accident that left him paralyzed from the waist down. He had fallen asleep at the wheel. The pastor's son - who had been driving the other car- died. George's dream of playing in the NFL ended. Stuck in the hospital instead of on the football field & partying, George was sad. George would lose his football scholarship. He couldn't afford the hospital bills. But George got church-pranked when the pastor (whose son died in the car accident) was holding a check that not only covered his hospital bills but the next year's tuition &fees for college. He told George he was forgiven. Astounded, George accepted Jesus Christ. George graduated from college & became a doctor.
by WhatWouldHolyGhostDo? November 07, 2014
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Church of Charlie

Where Charlie’s Angels come to think, pray, and ask for forgiveness from the Charlie god.
I’m gonna go to the Church of Charlie so that badass is forgiven
by The Church of Charlie July 24, 2022
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Church lady

What you call your friend,associate,etc when they are dressed very out of date and style
by Unsocially._.Awkward February 10, 2018
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Church Smile

A word to describe the attitude of someone being disingenuously nice in order to cover their true rotten personality
That bitch Karen had a church smile on all day, made me want to punt Mrs.Perfect into the lake
by GuyLampShade June 01, 2022
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home churching

Sleeping in on sunday morning when all the good baptists go to services
Dude, Monica was bitching because you didn't go to church yesterday.

Had a rough night Saturday. Decided to do the home churching thing.
by St. Gregory October 25, 2013
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church lady kool-aid

Origin: Lutheran

CHERRY (and only cherry) Kool-aid mix WITH the sugar AND 1-1.5 more cups of sugar added. Often paired with Oreos.... and then Dodgeball. #PraiseJesus
You don't need alcohol or drugs, you will be flying high enough on church lady kool-aid.
by kisserT September 04, 2022
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