a white suburban woman..... upper to middle class, who drives either a mini van or an SUV to shuttle her "precious cargo" to play dates, soccer practice, little league, PTA meetings. All the while, endangering the lives of other drivers and pedestrians on the road with her lead foot and cutting people off in traffic. A woman who also has an affinity for Starbucks, forcing her children to listen to Yanni, imposing time outs on her little "angels" instead of the more deserved smack on the ass that these little shits deserve, and maintaining her trophy wife status to her executive husband..... Mostly....... A woman who has no idea how to actually raise a child by her own wits, just subscribing to the BS that it takes a village.......
see above
by Stephanie November 21, 2003
Get the Soccer mom mug.Used when you don't have a clue what you've just witnessed and when you appeal to a supernatural explanation, because you are too ignorant to be aware of the scientific explanation.
An example can be seen in the Sacha Baron Cohen's movie "The Dictator (2012)".
An example can be seen in the Sacha Baron Cohen's movie "The Dictator (2012)".
by procletnika June 12, 2013
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The stereotypical vehicle of a soccer mom, the soccer mom van can usually be identified as a 90's Chrystler van with about ten bumper stickers for various soccer leagues.
The criminals evaded the very sight of the soccer mom van, as they were intimidated by the sheer power emitted from it.
by KeshcaShckay March 27, 2015
Get the Soccer Mom Van mug.A burden to the human race, a scourge of humanity, a disgusting demon from Hell. The reason for such atrocities like the ESRB, v-chips, and the freakin' FCC. Soccer moms are a subspecies of humans, like monkeys and chimpanzees. They are often middle-aged and blonde, but they act like they're 20 and they often wear track pants to show of their disgusting hippo-ass that will make you vomit. They think their little, bratty, teeny boppers spawned from the radioactive shit from the asshole of Satan. Seriously, their kids are like demons! Soccer moms often force their offspring to do some sort of after school (soccer, baseball, football, etc.). Soccer moms also have very strict rules.
Me: *listening to Banana 101.5 in my Dad's car while he gets some smokes and beer*
Soccer Mom: You turn that awful garbage off this instant!
Me: *turns it up*
SM: TURN IT OFF YOU AWFUL MONSTER, MY CHILDREN ARE TO SPACES DOWN!!!
Me: Fuck you.
SM: *angry groan* YOU... YOU...*stomps off in anger*
Me: What a bitch.
Soccer Mom: You turn that awful garbage off this instant!
Me: *turns it up*
SM: TURN IT OFF YOU AWFUL MONSTER, MY CHILDREN ARE TO SPACES DOWN!!!
Me: Fuck you.
SM: *angry groan* YOU... YOU...*stomps off in anger*
Me: What a bitch.
by Valintino the Big Surpremo August 14, 2010
Get the soccer mom mug.A more severe version of owned. Being Soccer Mom'd is akin to being reduced to tears by your mother in front of your friends.
Person A: Your mama's so fat she plays pool with the planets.
Person B: Your juvenile insults betray the fact that your mother whored you out as a child, at 50 cents a turn. Your cut was 1 cent which you saved up for 25 weeks to play one game at the arcade, which you promptly lost due to Mrs. Butterworth's residue in your ass from that morning's "work".
Onlooker: SOCCER MOM'D!
Person B: Your juvenile insults betray the fact that your mother whored you out as a child, at 50 cents a turn. Your cut was 1 cent which you saved up for 25 weeks to play one game at the arcade, which you promptly lost due to Mrs. Butterworth's residue in your ass from that morning's "work".
Onlooker: SOCCER MOM'D!
by Dave McLaughlin June 16, 2004
Get the Soccer Mom'd mug.Generally speaking, a soccer mom is an upper middle class white woman from the suburbs. But soccer moms can be divided into two categories:
-Mrs. Foo Foo-
She was born into an upper middle class family. Her daddy payed her way through college, where she met "hubby" (who, of course, was majoring in business). She was married straight out of college, and has never had to work a day in her life because "hubby" is now some sort of douchebag in middle management. Despite "hubby" only making $80,000/year, she still likes to convince herself that he makes well into the six figures. She attempts to show this off by her large ass SUV and her daily trips to the local mall. She is in her late 20s, and 30/40s, and still tries to shop in the juniors sections, and constantly talks about her sorority back in college. She is a member of the PTA and the "Christian stay at home moms basket weaving club" at her church, although back in college she'd suck a dick at the drop of a hat. She lives vicariously through her daughters, which is why you will find her in her fold up chair definitely wearing capris, at the YMCA youth league soccer team cheering on her future little prom queen, who by the way is the best cheerleader on her $8,000 a year cheerleading team. If she has sons, he is of course "Mr. Athlete." This is not by choice of the child. ALL of her children are blond, even if she and her husband are both brunettes. Her children do not know the father, since he constantly away on his business trips screwing his secretary. This, of course causes his daughters to grow up with a "daddy complex," where they sleep with anything with a pulse and a penis to get that male attention, therefore, continueing the Mrs. Foo Foo tradion, and his sons grow up to have a drugs problem. Mrs. Foo Foo and her husband are hardcore conservative Republican.
Soccer mom number 2 is:
Mrs. Frumpy-
Mrs. Frumpy was born into a middle class blue collar family. She has always wanted nothing more than to be a mom. Her husband works a blue collar job barely making $40,000 a year working 12 hours a day, because she refuses to get a job because "Jesus intended for moms to stay at home with their little ones." Her hobbies include scrapbooking, clipping coupons, and being president of the PTA and the "Christian stay at home moms basket weaving club," and of course, her children. She is madly obsessed with her children. She only lets her 14 year old listen to Radio Disney or the Christian family songs station. Any video game not radio "E" is inappropriate. The more extremist "Mrs. Frumpies" are homeschoolers, for they feel anything that is not Christian is evil, so it shall never come in contact with her children. You can find Mrs. Frumpy on her picnic blanet at the YMCA youth soccer league games with her 4 kids, cheering on junior. Mrs. Frumpy's daughters will not play soccer, because Jesus did not intend for little girls to be rough and tough.
-Mrs. Foo Foo-
She was born into an upper middle class family. Her daddy payed her way through college, where she met "hubby" (who, of course, was majoring in business). She was married straight out of college, and has never had to work a day in her life because "hubby" is now some sort of douchebag in middle management. Despite "hubby" only making $80,000/year, she still likes to convince herself that he makes well into the six figures. She attempts to show this off by her large ass SUV and her daily trips to the local mall. She is in her late 20s, and 30/40s, and still tries to shop in the juniors sections, and constantly talks about her sorority back in college. She is a member of the PTA and the "Christian stay at home moms basket weaving club" at her church, although back in college she'd suck a dick at the drop of a hat. She lives vicariously through her daughters, which is why you will find her in her fold up chair definitely wearing capris, at the YMCA youth league soccer team cheering on her future little prom queen, who by the way is the best cheerleader on her $8,000 a year cheerleading team. If she has sons, he is of course "Mr. Athlete." This is not by choice of the child. ALL of her children are blond, even if she and her husband are both brunettes. Her children do not know the father, since he constantly away on his business trips screwing his secretary. This, of course causes his daughters to grow up with a "daddy complex," where they sleep with anything with a pulse and a penis to get that male attention, therefore, continueing the Mrs. Foo Foo tradion, and his sons grow up to have a drugs problem. Mrs. Foo Foo and her husband are hardcore conservative Republican.
Soccer mom number 2 is:
Mrs. Frumpy-
Mrs. Frumpy was born into a middle class blue collar family. She has always wanted nothing more than to be a mom. Her husband works a blue collar job barely making $40,000 a year working 12 hours a day, because she refuses to get a job because "Jesus intended for moms to stay at home with their little ones." Her hobbies include scrapbooking, clipping coupons, and being president of the PTA and the "Christian stay at home moms basket weaving club," and of course, her children. She is madly obsessed with her children. She only lets her 14 year old listen to Radio Disney or the Christian family songs station. Any video game not radio "E" is inappropriate. The more extremist "Mrs. Frumpies" are homeschoolers, for they feel anything that is not Christian is evil, so it shall never come in contact with her children. You can find Mrs. Frumpy on her picnic blanet at the YMCA youth soccer league games with her 4 kids, cheering on junior. Mrs. Frumpy's daughters will not play soccer, because Jesus did not intend for little girls to be rough and tough.
Mrs. Foo Foo is the skinny ugly blonde bitch in that big ass SUV with the "W" sticker on the back, hauling her kids to as many activities as possible, soccer mom
Mrs. Frumpy is that fat ugly, mini van driving, Christian zealot hauling her daughters to ballets, and sons to soccer, soccer moms.
Mrs. Frumpy is that fat ugly, mini van driving, Christian zealot hauling her daughters to ballets, and sons to soccer, soccer moms.
by a women with self respect April 9, 2006
Get the soccer mom mug.A middle-aged, middle-upper class woman who generally drives an SUV, a minivan or a station wagon (the latter of which is rarely seen in this era), and lives in a suburban area such as Parsippany, New Jersey, my hometown. They believe that their children are the most important things in the world, and refuse to let them listen to any music other than Top 40 radio, play any violent video games, or let them watch TV without them nearby, as any of these could supposedly corrupt their fragile minds. They are generally members of the local PTA, and have their kids participate in as many after-school programs as possible, so they could have themselves some "me" time. They usually put soccer ball stickers on their bumpers, tailgates, or gas caps, and are especially notorious for popularizing the infamous "honor student" bumper stickers. Soccer moms are usually homemakers, especially if they have young children, and live of the income generated by their well-paid husbands.
by Kevin January 9, 2005
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