When you're getting a blow job while standing and right as you cum, pull out and spray it everywhere like a human sprinkler head
She was giving head and I showed my appreciation by giving her the horizontal snowblower. Man that shit was everywhere!
by Dirty Medick November 29, 2017
by Unfunded2.2 August 09, 2023
Laying down flat on the toilet to pee. Usually necessary due to a boner, because you’re not sure about your aim, or you’re bored with standard peeing strategies.
- James: "I saw Zac Efron horizontal peeing in the trailer for that movie That Awkward Moment and decided to give it a try."
- Mike: "How'd it go?"
- James: "Good. I touched the water.”
- Mike: "How'd it go?"
- James: "Good. I touched the water.”
by the fuuuuck? January 08, 2014
by jonnable June 13, 2003
it's a special way of running. You lay on your back and move your legs so that you make the same movements as when you run. It is usually practiced by people who do not want to admit that they are lazy.
Aubrey: Amy what are you doing?
Amy: Im doing horizontal running.
Aubrey: Just admit that you are lazy.
Amy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Amy: Im doing horizontal running.
Aubrey: Just admit that you are lazy.
Amy: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
by Kazuichi souda April 04, 2022
The act of one pedestrian, or a small group, crossing the street, primarily in a parking lot, in which they enter the road at a seemingly nonexistent angle which can take anywhere from 15 to 30 seconds for them to cross the two-lane road. Witnessing this can take a severe toll on one's psyche, and you should immediately see a psychological therapist before you reach out and bitch slap someone.
Pedestrian: Derpa derp derp... Just gonna enter the road cuz I can
Driver: Ok this is normal, I'll slow down
Pedestrian: Derp derp doodly derp
Driver: Well then, this is taking quite some time
Pedestrian: Derp de der...
Driver: GODDAMMIT! STOP DOING THE HORIZONTAL LEMUR AND MOVE YOUR ASS YOU FAT BASTARD!!!
Driver: Ok this is normal, I'll slow down
Pedestrian: Derp derp doodly derp
Driver: Well then, this is taking quite some time
Pedestrian: Derp de der...
Driver: GODDAMMIT! STOP DOING THE HORIZONTAL LEMUR AND MOVE YOUR ASS YOU FAT BASTARD!!!
by Holden McHawk August 21, 2011
When you are going down on someone and aren't getting shit back so you force them into the 69 position by quickly and sneakishly swinging your legs around so you can plant your genitals right on their face--keeping your mouth in tact at all times. Practice makes perfect.
"The other night she was hosting a clam bake so I decided to horizontal kartwheel and plant my shit right in her face"
by ticky ticky KiMSHaDY June 11, 2008