Cheesman Excuse

An incredibly poor excuse that even the perpetrator knows is so horrendously appalling it's an insult to the intelligence of the listener.
Cheesman (Of Jamie And The Cheesmans): I'm very tired.
Innocent Bystander: It's 1 o' clock in the afternoon.
Cheesman (Of Jamie And The Cheesmans): I have to revise.
Innocent Bystander: You don't go to school. Wait a minute! That wasn't an excuse at all! It was a mere Cheesman Excuse, designed to put me off while you make your escape! Little do you know your days playing the bass are over, for you have been usurped by a superior artist!
Frankie: (Of Frankie and the fat kids) I'm taking this.
Cheesman (Of Jamie And The Cheesmans): Er, okay.
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Weak Excuse

An attempt to explain your motives, which ends in a horribly epic fail.
"Our country was founded by Christians"- A weak excuse to explain why we should separate separation of church and state.

"I was curious..."- A weak excuse to cover your tracks for knocking a girl up.
by Brian Wolffe January 04, 2009
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tactical excuse

An excuse or set of excuses that removes or points the blame of poor performance or poor planning on ones equipment, other operators, or acts of god such as weather.
Operator 1: Hey what seems to be the issue, you were just laughing at how easy this was going to be a few days ago?
Operator 2: The sun is in my eyes, and its so cold I can't complete simple tasks, but mostly I'm hungry and when that happens I get dizzy. Any other time non of this would not be an issue.
Operator 1: Damn, your full of tactical excuses... go change your manpon.
by trevp April 15, 2015
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abuse excuse

Silly little lies made up by those in the unfortunate position of being in abusive relationships, but aren't ready to deal with it yet.
That po' bitch need a new abuse excuse fo' all da' beatdowns she be gittin!
by abuseexcuse.org August 30, 2013
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The Big Excuse

“I hated all those bleeping webinars,” snaps Micro, “and the boss would always check the Zoom chat to see who actively attended. Now I beg off with The Big Excuse, saying it’s long-haul and I’m too foggy to grok what’s going on. She was sensitive about it. Ha!”

“Swim meets always drove me bonkers,” says Bailey. “But Cypress cried if I didn’t go – until I duped her with The Big Excuse, saying that mommies who’d had Delta had to stay home and rest, and nanny Martha could support a little princess’s backstroke just fine.”
by Hifalutin! February 05, 2022
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Bike Excuse

An overused excuse that hides a person's true intentions.

(Coined from Pokemon, where Misty always followed Ash until he "paid her back for wrecking her bike". She would use this "Bike Excuse" whenever confronted about why she still followed Ash, when in reality it was because she loved him.)
Person A: For the hundredth time, I'm sorry for barging in on you, I was looking for the bathroom.

Person B: Oh, don't give me that Bike Excuse, we all know it was because you wanted to see me change.
by Daniel Wagner December 01, 2007
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Excuse Willis

What Bruce Willis would be if he was a justification.
"Don't give me that Excuse Willis, I'm NOBODY'S FOOL."
by PoliPotter April 13, 2009
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