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etrading

the process of trading stocks, bonds, options and other equities online
'dat fool etrading all day'
by Shmeshmorsion February 13, 2010
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etarded

(VERB) Derived from the word retard, an etarded person is someone who has slowed down intellectually, often permanately, from the effects of Ecstasy (MDMA).
"Yo, that kid rolled all summer and he's straight up etarded now. I heard on the news you get holes in your brain, that kid is living proof."
by lowcal September 26, 2005
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e-tard

Someone's who's electronically challenged, and always relies on the local "computer expert" (you) to help them attach files to e-mails or download hentai. E-tards tend to be over 40 and have not once considered Googling their problem, due to the fact they might hurt themselves if they try.

They only understand your instructions after you simplify them at least three times, and never remember the names of anything related to computers. They only understand what the Start Menu is if you tell the it's "the little green button in the bottom-left corner that says Start". It is physically impossible for them to memorize and recall processes with more than three steps. Trying to help an e-tard do something more complicated than locate a file plays out like an Abbott and Costello routine from hell.

Over 95% of all e-tards use Windows (typically XP or Vista). This is due to the fact that when they bought their first computer, they didn't feel like overspending on something they wouldn't use. It's kind of ironic, since it'd probably easier for them to use a Mac (simpler design, sexy graphics everywhere).

However, the e-tard is not a creature to be hated for their ignorance, but pitied, and even sympathized with. Because, in about 30 years, when cyborgs take over the MindNet and you can't remember how to log off, you are going to be so fucked.
A typical exchange with the most common e-tard: your mother:

Your mom: Honey, how do I log out of your father's account?
You: Start Menu, click Log Off.
Your mom: Where's the Start Menu?
You: Click the Start Button.
Your mom: Where's that?
You: Bottom-left corner. It says start.
Your mom: Okay. Now what?
You: Click Log Off.
Your mom: Where's that?
You: *sigh* Lemme show you.

At this point, you walk over and log off for h-what the fuck? Did your dad really save goat porn to his desktop? Jesus Christ. How did he even find that without your help? And the filename is "goatporn_02". Subtle.
by srs109 May 7, 2011
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eptardic

(adj.) An act that is equal parts epic and retarded.
guy 1: Hey what cha up to?
guy 2: I'm about to jump this wood chipper on my tricycle!
guy 1: Well; no matter how this turns out, it will be eptardic.
guy 2: Huh? You're a fag!
by psystation December 29, 2010
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E-tard

A pompous, arrogant drug addict on the mental level of a teenager permanently.
Observant poser asshole-Dont you notice how pompous and arrogant these teenagers on ecstasy are? At least hippies were mentally over 18. These kids are E-tard dumbasses.
by Solid Mantis September 18, 2018
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etarsyne

The Crusty left over shit in and around your ass.
I need to clean my etarsyne
by Abe walter August 30, 2007
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Eardrum Rapist

noun: a person who gets their kicks from deliberately forcing a horrible song into your head.
You have got to STOP singing that god-damn Bryan Adams song from the 'Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves' soundtrack! You are an Eardrum Rapist.
by 77jim April 26, 2011
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