Captain Cockhead

head cockhead; leader of the cockheads; most highly qualified cockhead

...and that concludes my report about the day when aliens stole my brain.

Thank you, Captain Cockhead.

by yorrick hunt June 13, 2008

Crackhead Mother

A crackhead mother is the supreme helicopter parent, who's favorite hobby is micromanaging their kids and yelling at them to do shit. She will beat your ass if you look at her the wrong way. Don't try reasoning or using common sense with the bitch, anything besides "yes ma'am" is considered backtalk, so it will just induce more yelling (and beating). Karens of the world worship her as a deity, sacrificing managers to her.

Johnny can't come to the party, he's got a crackhead mother who will FUCK YOU UP.

My god, it looks like your crackhead mother beat you harder than you beat your meat!

by spedgodfather April 30, 2020

guided crackhead

A crackhead (or other person of violent, irrational behavior, such as a crystal meth addict) who is intentionally given information as to where a particularly choice/valuable target may available by theft or armed robbery. The implicitly or explicitly intended victim, however, may be someone who it is known will be home at the time of the assault, to be disposed of before the valuables are taken. In this manner the crackhead is used as a 'fire-and-forget' weapon, like a guided missile.

Having grown tired of her middle-manager-husband's extramarital shenanigans, Mrs. Lane set a guided crackhead on him, and then raked in a significant insurance haul while she played up the "grieving widow" publicly.

by DoomRooster February 4, 2008

Crackhead chances

Actions or decisions that are predicated of both a person and an undertaking and implies a willingness to accept extrodinarily high risks with minimal gain or chance of successful outcome. This can also mean taking a chance on trusting a someone who is proven untrustworthy and therefore by association you are considered a crackhead for lack of good judgement.

Amy is always taking crackhead chances. Yesterday she lent her Maybach to her broke dopefiend cousin Dave so that he could take a trip to New Jersey. She hasn't heard from him since. You know that she will never see that car again.

by awsasin July 28, 2011

crackhead dave

That friends dad who loves to take drugs and is normally a Buddhist and vegetarian.

Boy: How is your dad?
Friend: upstairs off his face on crack, meditating
Boy: That's classic crackhead dave

by domydeek December 4, 2014

crackhead joe

crackhead john's older brother who is also addicted to crack-cocaine but yet is financially stable.

crackhead John: hey man can i borrow $20 for some hard?
crackhead Joe: hang on man, somebody's out there. they watching us and i know it, but what they don't know is that i'm a sly mutha fucka.. i'm like a koala bear hiding and lurking in the trees, niggas just don't know.
crackhead John: look man i don't got time for this again, can you at least spot me $10? i need my fix
crackhead Joe: sure man, you seem true to the word.. you remind me of my brother

by bulletface March 29, 2015

crackhead crafting

When one finds that the act of “crafting” or making something takes place at odd hours of the night.

“Megan said that she was sewing more bags at 2am, she was crackhead crafting again.”

by Sexy Mama Potato November 15, 2019