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put the needle on the record

Gurl, you not gonna believe what happened.
What?
Well, I been needful all day so when I got home I went straight to my room to take care of business. I just "put the needle on the record" using my patented middle finger technique when my Mom walked in. All hell broke loose.
Whadja do?
Well, when she left, I finished. I toldya I was needful.
by LucretiaMacevil November 12, 2010
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The record player

Something that Sleepy Joe 'braindead' Biden thinks parents should have on at night so kids can 'hear words.' It is unclear however if this is actually a good idea, since Joe didn't seem to know what the hell he wanted to say (as usual) and was confused between the record player, the radio, the television and even the phone!
Joe 'braindead' Biden: Play the radio! Make sure the television the-the excuse me, make sure you have the record player on at night, the the the phone, make sure the kids hear words!

Normal person: you're a fucking retard, Trump won anyway.
by Icy Wyte July 20, 2022
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Off Record

Declaration, statement, that is not an official statement and can be refused later. It's an unauthorized Statement. Normally incorrect pollitically.
RT Reporter: Ok, and finally the last most awaited question: Tell me the true about the 9-11...

Unknown CIA Agent: Ok... I see you are very interested in it. I would tell you a story, but this I will confess you, it´ll be an off record. After you hear this you will never be the same person, and this burden will be with you until your death. Maybe you will prosecuted or threated. If you say anything and you say I said it. I will deny everything. Do you understand ?
by APOLOKIA GENOCIDE May 20, 2014
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world record egg

the world record egg on instagram .
(beat kylie jenner)
yo matt, did you see the world record egg?

no. i am a normie.
by tiktoktrap February 7, 2019
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daily record

by David Richardson March 29, 2005
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gold record

pee in your pants, usually your own. often a messy byproduct of unrestrained and blazing laughter. or you might actually have a disorder, in which case you probably don't laugh.
I put my pants on like you... one leg at a time. But when my pants are on i make gold records.
by k84now December 13, 2008
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off the record

by Kevin September 4, 2003
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