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Hospital Appointment

Ideal chosen excuse for having the morning off work, ideally to attend an interview for a rewarding job. Completely throws any bovate suspicion as hypochondria is accepted as the norm.
"I won't be in 'til 12 today as I have a physio appointment on my dodgy knee."
"Oh okay. I hope you feel better afterwards."
"Oh I will, you bove. I will. Lie-ins are truly therapeutic."
by David Cowpell Downtrodden September 2, 2004
mugGet the Hospital Appointmentmug.

Hospital Pass

Literally (in schools, the military, etc): A pass that exempts the bearer from normal duty so they can go to hospital.

Figuratively (1): A Catch-22 situation which will inevitably lead to a person being badly hurt, humiliated or otherwise up shit creek.

Figuratively (2): In sports, a dangerous pass of the ball that may result in injury to the receiver.
Drill Instructor: Private, why are you out of the barracks?!
Private: Sir, I have a hospital pass... oohhh...
Drill Instructor: I see, that would explain all the blood spraying from your neck. NOW, STOP MOANING YOU PANSY! AND SAY SIR WHEN YOU DO!

Bill: I hear you just got assigned the Smith tax account.
Joe: Yeah, that thing is a nightmare. The IRS are investigating the company and I am probably going to be called before a grand jury.
Bill: Holy shit! That account is a hospital pass.

Doctor: So, how did you break your nose?
Private: I was playing football and the ball was passed to me.
Doctor: That doesn't sound dangerous.
Guy: Yeah, but the ball smacked directly into my face at 200 miles per hour.
Doctor: Sounds like a hospital pass. Ha ha ha ha!
Guy: Can I have another doctor?
by Guy with face December 23, 2007
mugGet the Hospital Passmug.

Hospital Pass

When a Quarterback in American football throws a high pass to a Wide Receiver leaving the Receiver's mid section open for a big hit from a defensive back, more times than not hurting the Receiver in the process.
The Wide Receiver was complaining about not getting catches, so the QB threw him a Hospital Pass.
by Twent24our August 24, 2021
mugGet the Hospital Passmug.

Hospital Food

The concept of a nurse unloading a day's worth of shit into a decent meal and serving it to you.
Guy: The nurse came back with my food
Guy2: How did it taste?
Guy: Like dogshit fucking pizza
Guy2: That's Hospital Food!
by BIHTikTok November 7, 2021
mugGet the Hospital Foodmug.

hospitality vibrator

A vibrator specifically purchased for the use of guests. Mine, currently, is a plug-in wand type of model.
If he doesn't have a hospitality vibrator in his house, he can't fuck.
by River Ratty May 13, 2021
mugGet the hospitality vibratormug.

Hospital administrator

One who removes all joy from the practice of medicine
The new hospital administrator has hired a consultant to find out why the medical staff are unhappy.
by Knucklebuster June 21, 2018
mugGet the Hospital administratormug.

anti-hospital

A wonderful place where the employees there beat you to a pulp and give you money if you survive.
Guy: *walks into the anti-hospital*
The doctors and nurses: *beat him to a pulp*
Anti-doctor: okay here's $2,000
by pingpong89 November 6, 2022
mugGet the anti-hospitalmug.

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