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Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter

The sexual act in which a man puts 2 eggs in between a woman's breasts(while laying in bed) and then sit on them for a solid 2 - 5 hours with a heating lamp near by and the room temperature very high. Then when he gets up, they should be hot, goey, and sticky. He will then proceed to use this as lube for violent sex afterwards. Then, with some of the eggshells, he will proceed to scrape her nipples until they are a bloody pulp.
Me: Dude, im so nervous...
Friend: Whys that?
Me: Sally wants me to do a Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter....I don't think I can sit still for that long!
Friend: Don't worry you'll be fine bro!!
by Shank0potomis August 1, 2012
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Humpty

The fuel of nightmares, typically an egg or a previous English king.
by poroekd October 13, 2022
mugGet the Humptymug.

Humpty dumpty

Person:have you seen Shea kearns

Person 2: Aye head on him like Humpty Dumpty
by Crt November 26, 2022
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Reverse Humpty Dumpty

A Reverse Humpty Dumpty is a man whose head is shaped like that of an egg and who also has very little or no hair on their head BUT they are rocking a rather thick beard.
Have you seen how he looks? He's totally a Reverse Humpty Dumpty!
by XxOwOxX July 25, 2022
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Humpty Fuckty

The act of having a poo (Humpty) while also having a sexual intercourse (Fuckty).

Usually done in airport loos (notably Luton) where time is critical.
Have we got time for a quick humpty fuckty. before boarding? Really don't want to be late for Portugal but can kill 2 birds with 1 stone…
by SaintBlue October 2, 2024
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Humpty Dumpty

by ISmashRatchets August 8, 2019
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