A solemn promise to refrain from Absinthe ingestion to prevent the ear-severing, cubo-witticisms (or worse) that would inherently bloom. It is vowed as follows:
"I, (state your name), do hereby pledge to practice absinth-tinence by remaining absinth-tinent from Absinthe. Since Absinthe incidents in many instances induce incipient syn(es)thetic inspiration and sinsister synthetic insistence on sin, I sincerely insist I will be absent from instances of Absinthe ingestion, this instant.”
"I, (state your name), do hereby pledge to practice absinth-tinence by remaining absinth-tinent from Absinthe. Since Absinthe incidents in many instances induce incipient syn(es)thetic inspiration and sinsister synthetic insistence on sin, I sincerely insist I will be absent from instances of Absinthe ingestion, this instant.”
After completing the Absinthe ritual several times over with newly-made friends from Argentina, Quebec City and Gainesville, Florida (state your name) shot to his feet and bolted toward the waterfront and a club on the pier of beautiful Barcelona, in search of adventure. Little did he realise, he would end up having his balls grabbed by that dirty Spaniard Frank, leaning in for a kiss or something, all after inviting (state your name) back to his apartment to wait for his "hot journalist friends in little skirts" that didn't end up meeting him at the club. Waking up at his hostel late in the afternoon, (state your name)'s face was pale green-opalescent white like the colour of Absinthe mixed with water.
In hindsight, the Colbert Absinthe-tinence Pledge would have made a helluva lot of sense.
In hindsight, the Colbert Absinthe-tinence Pledge would have made a helluva lot of sense.
by Blair Larratt November 19, 2007
Get the Colbert Absinthe-tinence Pledgemug. Jump-Rope Sally was pushing "Colbert pick-me-ups" behind the swing sets at recess, until Principal Sanders caught her with a Reddi Wip and an empty can of Pringles one day.
by Cottonsince85 March 31, 2010
Get the Colbert pick-me-upmug. A snack invented by TV icon Stephen T. Colbert, consisting of an Original flavor Pringle, topped with whipped cream, which is then topped with another Original flavor Pringle.
There are other versions, such as the "Sour Cream and Onion" Crem de la Colbert, the "Pizza" Crem de la Colbert, and the recently discontinued "Taco Night" Crem de la Colbert.
There are other versions, such as the "Sour Cream and Onion" Crem de la Colbert, the "Pizza" Crem de la Colbert, and the recently discontinued "Taco Night" Crem de la Colbert.
by No Need to be Named April 6, 2010
Get the Crem de la Colbertmug. His jokes were so bad, the only ones that laughed were a bunch of ass-colbert's that were in denial Trump had won the election!
by Dennis Carlo August 14, 2025
Get the ass-colbertmug. Loves drugs and eating sandwiches induced by hot milfs in his area. give him a kissy-wissy and he'll make your day. Shave his head and get a special stick that can be stuck up a dog's ass for "therapeutic" reasons.
by anonymous May 25, 2022
Get the Colbertmug. by The Real Beast. October 6, 2023
Get the Colbertingmug. by ILikeAnimals&Plants December 28, 2020
Get the colbertmug.