by Jack Jack Ganoush Monkey September 7, 2013
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I was sparring in jiu jitsu and I accidentally asspectorated on my partner during an especially rough take-down.
by Somebody Liz January 30, 2019
Get the asspectorate mug.Announcing with gravitas and feigned authority that something is a fact with the express purpose of demanding the listener buy the facade of the speaker's fantastical persona. Broadcasting a statement while intending to build an image and simultaneously diminish others.
He asswerted that people who didn't reverse their cars into parking spaces were entirely incapable of planning ahead in anything.
He asswerted so often, claiming expertise in areas in which he had no experience; his managers would sometimes opt to expose him to the consultants embarrass him. They had hoped the experience would restrain his daily grandiosity.
He asswerted that he knew FAR more than ALL the staff put together!
She asswerted her niece's boyfriend is a bad person, because her brother-in-law didn't like the young man.
He asswerted he knew more about the aircraft and how it was used than anyone else while watching a military aviation documentary alongside a USAF combat veteran (who had actually flown on the aircraft being discussed). He continued to loudly asswert over others whenever they'd offer their experiences.
He asswerted so often, claiming expertise in areas in which he had no experience; his managers would sometimes opt to expose him to the consultants embarrass him. They had hoped the experience would restrain his daily grandiosity.
He asswerted that he knew FAR more than ALL the staff put together!
She asswerted her niece's boyfriend is a bad person, because her brother-in-law didn't like the young man.
He asswerted he knew more about the aircraft and how it was used than anyone else while watching a military aviation documentary alongside a USAF combat veteran (who had actually flown on the aircraft being discussed). He continued to loudly asswert over others whenever they'd offer their experiences.
by Jules.Sheehy January 20, 2020
Get the asswerted mug.by assertions July 2, 2021
Get the asserti0ns mug.I love kneading a pretty girl's shapely rump wif my hands, so I always claim dat I wanna asscertain some particular feature or quality of her delightful "rear fun bubbles" in order to persuade her to let me feel her up --- this smilingly-stated excuse usually does indeed work, although of course da cute chick always sees through my ruse, gigglingly saying, "Oh, you just wanna SQUEEZE MY BUTT!" :P
by QuacksO July 24, 2021
Get the asscertain mug.I wanted to go visit my friend, but I was told that getting an assport is more simple than getting a passport.
by anonymous May 5, 2022
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