Masturbation

What 100% of men do and can’t go more than two days without doing it.
What 50% of women do while the other 50 never even has the desire to do...

Masturbation is the polite way of saying that you fucked yourself.

by Biden is a dick April 21, 2021

text masturbator

someone who likes/tapbacks their own text message; also: text masturbation

It's inevitable that Stewé will tapback his own texts; that text masturbator is the only one who thinks he's so funny.

by The original Studly Hungwell September 13, 2025

masturbation Olympics

A +18 thing that is in the Olympics where 1. You masturbate until you reach ejaculation or 2. You stop masturbating right before you produce semen

Herby Hancock was desperate to watch the masturbation Olympics

Masturbation Olympics winner: the feeling of winning and ejaculation was so good that infact it is the best day of my life and also my advice is at least don't masturbate for 1 day before you do the masturbation Olympics

by Sebastian hiney February 27, 2021

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by TheGeneralGenitalsPranksterian May 7, 2025

aural masturbation

When someone loves hearing the sound of their own voice, and that person's idea of a conversation is actually a soliloquy or monologue...and simply won't STFU.

Steve appeared to be blissful and aloof, oblivious to the bored and vexed faces of his companions, as he listened to the wall of sound exiting his mouth in yet another round of aural masturbation.

by MoGyver April 8, 2016

masturbation betrayal

When you and a partner agree not to masturbate until a certain date but they do it anyway and make you aware of them breaking the promise.

David: “Gonna beat my meat, gonna beat my meat”
Me: “David!! That’s masturbation betrayal!”

by Spittingstraightfacts January 2, 2020

tactical masturbation

It's a term for masturbating (or busting a nut) before meeting a girl or going on a date. Now.. how is it useful? Well it helps you to think with your brain and not with your dick.

My friend: Bro.... I made a mistake. I accidentally did the deeds with Lily...

Me: God damn Lily???? Bro you really should have tactical masturbation

by Harsit2006 December 29, 2023