The Beer Gorilla is, despite its size and strength, a remarkably stealthy creature. Beer Gorillas only come out very late at night or in the early hours of the morning. They stalk their prey - invariably, intoxicaed males - with great cunning, folloing them to their place of dwelling.
The Beer Gorilla then waits patiently until all the occupants of the preisesare asleep and/or uncosncious before commencing its rampage. Sometimes the Gorilla will have sneaked in to the house after the drunken humans, and concelaed itself; on other occasions, it will employ its remarkable cimbing skills to enter via an upstairs window, or in extreme cases, a chimney - like a sort of Sith Santa Claus.
Once inside the premises, the Gorilla proceeds to trash te place. Typical activities incude:
- Eating every item of food in the premises and leaving the open containers scattered around (sometimes the Gorillla will order in a takeaway if insufficent cmestibles re to hand.
- Leaving a kettle, or a suacepan containing eggs, on the stove to boil dry
- Vomiting in a wide range of locations
- Mis-connecting hi-fi equipment in an attempt to access encrypted satellite channels without the proper equipment
- leavng refirdgerator and freezer doorsope just enough to ensure the contents spoil
- Depositing turds of gargantuan proportions in lavatoies, then failing to flush. Often, muc work with a spade, chisel and bilhook is needed the following day to disrupt the structure of thse megaturds to the point where they will pass the U-bend, st hey have a tendency to set like cement.
- urinating in beverage containers
- Using an electric razor on domestic pets in a way that amuses intoxicated h8umns, but not the pets involved.
- Arranging items of street furniture (moveable or fixed) in various artistic patterns trougout the property
- Placing a complete stranger, in an unconscious and partially or completely unclothed state, on a couch, floor or sofa. Often the Gorilla will swap such individuals from other locations
they visit, ensuring that when they awake, niether they nor the normal occupants have any idea of how they came to b there, or where their clothing and posessions are.
The Gorilla will also damge houehold fiztures andfittings in peculiar and inexplicable ways, and introduce substances such as floor polish, multisurface cleaner, and talcum powder into the mouths of sleeping residents, then disposing of any fruit juice or other beverages which might be used to disperse the resultant dry mout and awful taste.
They will also conceal or destroy all stocks of tea, coffee, and medications suitable for relieving hangovers.
In the process of performing the above tasks, the Gorilla will also overturn furniture, strew clothes around, and cause utter chaos, like a quiet but extremely thorough Poltergeist.
The Beer Gorilla then waits patiently until all the occupants of the preisesare asleep and/or uncosncious before commencing its rampage. Sometimes the Gorilla will have sneaked in to the house after the drunken humans, and concelaed itself; on other occasions, it will employ its remarkable cimbing skills to enter via an upstairs window, or in extreme cases, a chimney - like a sort of Sith Santa Claus.
Once inside the premises, the Gorilla proceeds to trash te place. Typical activities incude:
- Eating every item of food in the premises and leaving the open containers scattered around (sometimes the Gorillla will order in a takeaway if insufficent cmestibles re to hand.
- Leaving a kettle, or a suacepan containing eggs, on the stove to boil dry
- Vomiting in a wide range of locations
- Mis-connecting hi-fi equipment in an attempt to access encrypted satellite channels without the proper equipment
- leavng refirdgerator and freezer doorsope just enough to ensure the contents spoil
- Depositing turds of gargantuan proportions in lavatoies, then failing to flush. Often, muc work with a spade, chisel and bilhook is needed the following day to disrupt the structure of thse megaturds to the point where they will pass the U-bend, st hey have a tendency to set like cement.
- urinating in beverage containers
- Using an electric razor on domestic pets in a way that amuses intoxicated h8umns, but not the pets involved.
- Arranging items of street furniture (moveable or fixed) in various artistic patterns trougout the property
- Placing a complete stranger, in an unconscious and partially or completely unclothed state, on a couch, floor or sofa. Often the Gorilla will swap such individuals from other locations
they visit, ensuring that when they awake, niether they nor the normal occupants have any idea of how they came to b there, or where their clothing and posessions are.
The Gorilla will also damge houehold fiztures andfittings in peculiar and inexplicable ways, and introduce substances such as floor polish, multisurface cleaner, and talcum powder into the mouths of sleeping residents, then disposing of any fruit juice or other beverages which might be used to disperse the resultant dry mout and awful taste.
They will also conceal or destroy all stocks of tea, coffee, and medications suitable for relieving hangovers.
In the process of performing the above tasks, the Gorilla will also overturn furniture, strew clothes around, and cause utter chaos, like a quiet but extremely thorough Poltergeist.
"Who are you, and wha are you doing on my sofa ?"
"Search me .... the Beer Gorilla must have broght me. Say, where's my clothes ?
"Oh my GOD !"
"SHIT ! That bloody Beer Gorilla's followed us home AGAIN !"
"Search me .... the Beer Gorilla must have broght me. Say, where's my clothes ?
"Oh my GOD !"
"SHIT ! That bloody Beer Gorilla's followed us home AGAIN !"
by Eighth Of Seven May 29, 2009
Get the Beer Gorilla mug.The term used to describe one's sexual feelings toward another person when under the influence of alcohol. There are vast levels of this phenomena ranging from a 1 beer love to as many numbers of beers you are able to consume while still able to function and pursue said "love".
by 7 Beer Lover October 1, 2009
Get the beer love mug.Related Words
beber
• Beberly
• beber balls
• Beberboni
• beberdick
• beberlly
• Beberse
• Justin Beber
• beer
• bebe
by thort74t January 6, 2011
Get the Beer for my horses mug.by Michael G. and Matt K. January 14, 2008
Get the Cheerleading A Beer mug.The person(s) involve in the theft of beer from one party to take back to the party of their own. Once a beer ninja accepts the mission he must complete under any means neccessary. This includes but is not limited to 1)stealing from a friends party, 2)jumping fences, 3) wearing camoflage, 4)kidnapping people, 5) attacking from the sea, and 6)sending in spies to distract parties away from the mass of beer.
Chris: We are out of beer dude
Nick: No shit? Guy down the street is having a party.
Chris: Lets take his beer.
Nick: Its on. Beer Ninja style.
Nick: No shit? Guy down the street is having a party.
Chris: Lets take his beer.
Nick: Its on. Beer Ninja style.
by thenick September 25, 2006
Get the beer ninja mug.A half empty (or half full depending on how you look at it) can or bottle of beer. Most found during or after private school parties. Occurs when Catholic school boys try to look really cool by saying "hey brah, I drank like 25 beers last night"...when really all they did was drink 3 sips then put the can down to get a new one.
You could get wasted if you drank the SPALDING BEERS that are laying around.
damn, this must have been a private school party...there are lax stix and spalding beers everywhere.
damn, this must have been a private school party...there are lax stix and spalding beers everywhere.
by Biznah September 19, 2005
Get the Spalding Beer mug.(n) A game of beer pong in which 56 cups are used. The cups are lined up in seven rows of eight. There are three players per team. Each player has a "designated cup" on their side. That cup must be filled with beer to the very top. When the opposing team shoots a ball into that cup, the player who chose that cup as his "designated cup" must chug it immediately--the game does not continue until the cup is empty. If all three players on a team make a cup, the balls are "brought back" and that team gets to shoot again. If a ball lands and stays on top of the area where the brims of four cups meet, all four cups are considered hit. Bouncing is NOT two cups. No gentelman's shots. Two balls in the same cup does not end the game--the shooter of the second ball that went in gets to shoot again. Approximate game time is 45 minutes.
Tom, Fini, and Riebel are the ultimate 56 cup beer pong champions...even though Tom was stupid enough to play with Jungle Juice instead of beer. He ended up with his face licking the toilet bowl the rest of the night. Riebel held the team together by hitting every cup his team requested. Fini...well Fini was doing pretty bad but was still happy either way because it was his 20th birthday.
by Dale Hill October 25, 2006
Get the 56 Cup Beer Pong mug.