Condom Turtle

A visible erection through the condom.

I leaned over, in an attempt to hide my condom turtle.

by DashiellShatter May 30, 2023

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Condom

A rubber latex thing you wear during sex so you don't get pregnant.

Son: Dad, I got my gf pregnant, what do I do, she wants to keep it.
Dad: SOn, it's time I had a talk about the value of condoms, though your face should have been one to begin with.
Son: Uh, nevermind.

Condoms are the best way to protect yourself against sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unwanted pregnancy. Condoms are a barrier contraceptive made from latex rubber, a synthetic rubber called polyisoprene, or a very thin plastic called polyurethane.

by Slutty ass condom October 1, 2020

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condom rape

When a woman forcefully removes your condom during sex and tries to get herself pregnant against your will. Similar to penetration rape, except, as it is a woman doing it, feminists claim it is justifiable and men should "man up" by (presumably) reporting condom rapists to the police, or pepper spraying them in the face.

My girlfriend tried to condom rape me yesterday. I pulled out my can of mace and sprayed her. She called the police and I got 5 years in jail for assault, and got told by everyone how evil I was for defending myself against a rapist.

by Truth-Seeker666 November 19, 2015

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Squishy Condom

A true pimp, someone who gets laid when he wants it and has multiple ladies on his dick.

by Anonymous October 19, 2003

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condom mile

The desperate half-mile sprint a man makes to a local convenience store when he desperately wants sex, has a partner, but isn't willing to risk spawning a crotch goblin. Upon arriving back with condoms, the Condom Mile is complete

Sarah: "Y'know, I was really disappointed I couldn't sleep with Richie at that party last night..."
Jessica: "You should've just had him make the Condom Mile."

by Turtle-Cakes April 5, 2024

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