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grandpa's an asshole

A sick yet great song by Blink 182!
When you fucked grandpa did he tell you that he loved you
Did he hold you till the sun did rise
and did he look into your eyes
and ask you to felate him
and stick a finger or two in his ass

He seems like a total asshole
Grandpa is a total fucking asshole
Who would ever want a dirty greasy finger in his ass
he rubs his dick in broken glass

when you fucked grandpa did he kiss you soft and tender
did he tie your hands behind your head
and was it on your mother's bed

and this is stupid man! I can't believe you'd have sex with your own grandfather. I mean you guys are related! Whats he gonna do, take out his false teeth and just leave them on the side of your bed? Man, he likes to fuck you up the bottom, and grandma would come in and watch, and masturbate, and cum all over the place, and this is stupid! I hate you all! I'm not even gonna have sex with my mom tonight! Man, this is stupid! I hate you!
by Lizzy March 19, 2005
mugGet the grandpa's an assholemug.

asshole crumbs

Sporadic, weak or low-investment gestures of interest from a suiter or would-be partnerm that obscures the fact that the suiter or would be partner is not actually invested in the relationship. Often employed to keep the relationship just barely going in a way that does not heavily burden the person delivering the asshole crumbs but keeps his or her options perennially open.
After we had sex the first time she said she is scared that she is falling in love with me, but since then all I've gotten is a text now and then and some other asshole crumbs. OR : Narcissists are very good at sprikling some asshole crumbs in front of you just as you're about to completely write them off.
by Bill from Boston April 11, 2017
mugGet the asshole crumbsmug.

molten asshole

Where you take the massive, most painful shit, that is at least the temperature of the sun.

Even after you finish shitting it still feels like your ass turned into a volcano.
*Jake*: Dude did you ever get molten asshole?
*Andy*: Yeah dude that shit burns

*Jake*: I try to get toilet bowl water in there to cool it down
*Andy*: lolwut
by AndyJSwag March 20, 2014
mugGet the molten assholemug.

Asshole Optimism

When someone tries to put an optimistic spin on an unfotmunate situation, but has a sarcastic intent, and ends up subtly coming off as an asshole.
"It's cool that you have no car like everyone else," said Lucas, "now you can have fun riding your bike everywhere." In a show of asshole optimism.
by doktorj March 8, 2014
mugGet the Asshole Optimismmug.

respected asshole

Adj. A oxymoron to describe a person who is highly respected but at the same time, this person gets away with being an asshole due to established hierarchy status.
Example:
1."My boss is the biggest "respected asshole" I have ever known.

2. "Hey that punk ass mod banned me for getting tired of his shit!" "Fuck him, from now on hes a "very overly respected asshole!"
by noneofyourfuckingbusness October 21, 2012
mugGet the respected assholemug.

Jackson Asshole

When a man puts bleach up a woman’s ass and fucks her up it so his dick come out lighter
Dude Jeremy received the Jackson Asshole from Shiela

No Way! I heard his dick is like 10x paler now
by Dollar Tree Glasses June 14, 2021
mugGet the Jackson Assholemug.

Asshole Conduit

When your significant other wants you to deal with something that annoys them in avoidance. Usually making you to appear to be the asshole.
I’m tired of doing my husbands dirty work. Like I’m an asshole conduit for his shit. Instead of dealing with crap himself, he pushes it off on me making me look like the asshole for trying to keep the peace. FML.
by Nickel Sack13 April 16, 2019
mugGet the Asshole Conduitmug.

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