One who secretly smokes methamphetamine out of hookers buttholes using a special ass bong device. It is like a normal bong except that the bottom is open, allowing the water chamber to be the rectum of said hooker.
Bro: "Yo man I heard Randy is a closet candy crusher. Dude smokes ice out of skank booty."
Bro2: "Damn, I knew I shouldn't have let him borrow my assbong. Oh well YOLO!"
Bro: "Nasty mang, you probably got mouth herpes now."
Bro2: "Damn, I knew I shouldn't have let him borrow my assbong. Oh well YOLO!"
Bro: "Nasty mang, you probably got mouth herpes now."
by the mysterious j September 7, 2013
Get the closet candy crushermug. Closet Commando. A person who romanticizes military or police forces, weaponry and gear, yet have no real working knowledge or experience regarding them.
A closet commando usually likes to dress the part in tactical or military gear to mimic a military/militia member for fun.
A closet commando usually likes to dress the part in tactical or military gear to mimic a military/militia member for fun.
John boy talks a big game about his AR—15 and likes posing in his tactical vest but he’s just a closet commando
by Rook May 20, 2024
Get the closet commandomug. Closet achiever defined by actions.
When they say "oh I dont care, I just want to pass" but pissed when they miss a question or 2 in a exam
When you made an A but its a low A.
It's really "Closet Overachiever" but its that hidden so we dont put the word over-
Constantly competing when its not a competition.
When a student complains, "ooh that test was hard" but made a perfect score
When they say "oh I dont care, I just want to pass" but pissed when they miss a question or 2 in a exam
When you made an A but its a low A.
It's really "Closet Overachiever" but its that hidden so we dont put the word over-
Constantly competing when its not a competition.
When a student complains, "ooh that test was hard" but made a perfect score
by Passingscore May 6, 2019
Get the Closet Achievermug. Someone with the compulsive need to tug-it in the closet. Maybe due to a tramatic event of being walked in upon while giving his reliable pair the 1-2 polish and shine, (he wears sandals). There’s no shame, just more mess and not as much wiggle room as your traditional shower has to offer.
“I myself, am a closet tugger, the doors provide a nice secure barrier from the outside world during me time, and my girlfriends fuzzy scarves drape just low enough to tickle the tip.
“Dave is such a closet tugger! Look, he’s wearing crocs!”
“Dave is such a closet tugger! Look, he’s wearing crocs!”
by DrGreenT December 20, 2018
Get the closet tuggermug. 1: I gotta hit the shower and clean out the moldy closet!
2: Baby , your hygiene sucks, I can smell the moldy closet, 2 feet away!
2: Baby , your hygiene sucks, I can smell the moldy closet, 2 feet away!
by CircleJ September 26, 2023
Get the Moldy closetmug. A person who acts like they don't care about anyone, but deep down they really do have their good friends' backs.
Guy: That kid is so mean, he only cares about himself.
Girl: That's so not true, he's my friend, and he's a total closet fambam.
Girl: That's so not true, he's my friend, and he's a total closet fambam.
by closetfambam July 20, 2010
Get the Closet Fambammug. Name taken by a person that hides their rap abilities from people they know for personal reasons which would include doubt in their own talent, fear of negative criticism or the belief that they could become part of a social minority in their community.
I was a closet rapper for most of my 20’s because “insert reason here”
Did you know there’s a closet rapper living in this neighbourhood?
Did you know there’s a closet rapper living in this neighbourhood?
by RealMsgR December 7, 2024
Get the closet rappermug.