jesus

The guy who came and died on the cross to pay the debt of my sins.

Analogy:

In the court...
Judge: Danapal, you have a debt.
Danapal: Yes,I am sorry, it won't happen again.

Jesus walks in and hands the judge the money I owe.

Danapal: Thank you Jesus!

by Danapal August 14, 2005

jesus tap dancing christ

Exclaiming Jesus and invoking his name in such a way, that it seems like a diplomatic approach.

Jesus tap dancing christ Martha ! Bertha just had twins, and they have 2 right feet.

by jeffbo April 29, 2009

Chocolate Jesus

President Obama. Makes reference to his skin color (black, or "chocolate"), and his status with his followers and the main stream media as an almost messiah-like figure, dispite evidence that he is, in fact, merely another politician.

"Enough about Obama, you'd think this guy is some kind of chocolate jesus the way people hype him."

by fatmandive January 27, 2009

Jesus Tap Dancing Christ

A reason to shout out this word is..To be in utter Dismay, to see something so insanely intense, You'll shit bricks for a week, Handicapping you to walk like you have a dildo shoved up your ass.

Warning: Saying this word may cause you to tap dance uncontrollably, like how Bill Cosby says "God Dammit!", or "Jesus Christ!", even as much as how he slurs his speech, which sounds like he has a dildo shoved down his throat.

Little Sally: Hiya Little Billy!

Little Billy: Hey Sally!

*Sally gets Orbital nuked, while being eaten by the Kool-Aid Man*

Little Billy: Holy Jesus Tap Dancing Christ!

*Billy shits bricks, Tap-Dances home with dildo shoved up his ass, and tells parents about what happened to Sally which then causes a 'Brick-Shitting Chain Reaction*

by PwnCakez November 8, 2009

jesus h christ

name; Jesus Henry Christ. The illegitimate son of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdalene and the grandson of god. Today used as an expression of amazement or excitement which has carried over from his lifetime. When Mary would introduce his as Jesus H Christ, people would reapeat it in disbelief.

Mary: Hey luke, have you met my son, and the grandson of god, Jesus H Christ?
Luke: Jesus H Christ! Praise your Grandpa! Are you here to die for our sins like your old man? Hey what does the H stand for?
Jesus H Christ: Henry
Luke: Jesus H Christ! Turn some water to wine! Let's party!
Jesus H Christ: hallelujah! Your prayers have been heard! Bring out the water!
Mary: Jesus H Christ! You'r to young to drink.
Jesus H Christ: My Grandpa damn you!
Luke: Jesus H Christ!, you said it.

and so on

by C.W. Anderson III September 26, 2005

Jesus H. Christ

Jesus H. Christ is a mythological character stemming from Christian lore. The "H" in the middle of the names is believed to stand for a number of things, ranging from "Holy" to "Harold," However, recent evidence suggests that the "H" actually stands for "HeySeuss." This story book character's middle name was inserted recently in order to pay homage to the greatest children's story teller of all time: Dr. Seuss. While the movement started as something of a cult tradition, it quickly made its way into pop culture, even appearing on the silver screen from time to time as a profanity. This is of course wildly inappropriate to true followers as it is disrespectful to take the good Doctor'said name in vain. As a happy coincidence of this fan-fabricated name, the Hispanic pronunciation of the first name is also taught upon reading the middle name.

God: Do you mind if I name my child after you?
Dr. Seuss: It would be an honor.
God: He shall be called Jesus HeySuess Christ.
Dr. Seuss: Jesus H. Christ, a fine name for a main character.

by DefiningReality June 3, 2017

jesus

Jesus Christ is the son of God according to the Christian faith.

Jesus is my homeboy. Amen.

by lucky April 2, 2005