football

the sport where you kick a ball and pretend to D I E when someone touches you're ear

football player 1: (touches ear)
football player 2: (drops to the ground and pretends he got ran over) AAAHHHH MY EVERYTHING!!!
football player 1: wtf?
referee: that's not a fault
football team 2 fans: WHAT THE FUCK THAT'S TOTALLY A FAULT!!!!!

by burgerking footletuce November 30, 2018

Brendan's fantasy football team

1) A terrible and highly-overrated team of fantasy footballers; the most notoriously shitty "Brendan's fantasy football team" plays in the "Justice For John Markus Nead"

2) The vaginal equivalent of male "blue balls"

1) Rocco: "Brendan's fantasy football team blows"
2) Raul: "My girl had a bad case of Brendan's fantasy football team last night"
Spencer Ware: "Shoulda fucked her as hard as I fucked Rocco's team in the championship"

by Rocky C 816 August 12, 2017

Carmel Football

Carmel (NY) football is mostly known for their rivalry with The Mahopac Indians. Even though their rivalry is one sided most of the time with the Carmel Rams winning every year, they’re known for choking really f*cking hard in the playoffs against any team. All Carmel coaches are known well for their success. With their head coach obsessing over a Peanut Butter and Jelly, he is also talking about how his “weather machine” is on and well. The Rams are always mostly successful every year but they’re just known for choking on their coaches cocks and in the playoffs. Also they’re known for their insane fan section the “Carmel Crazies” as one of the most rowdy groups of them all but very disrespectful and annoying at times.

Coach: You know what week it is? PAC WEEK!
Player: Damn now I know how awesome it is to be in Carmel Football. (Not knowing that this week for practice is the most hell you can physically do in just a week)

by JamJizzJoe October 14, 2018

football ref

Fucking tards that don’t know how to open their eyes. They always fuckup everything and are disappointments to everyone. Usually pedos.

Coach:”Call that you dumbass!
Ref:”I fucked your daughter because I’m a football ref.”

by footballplayer35 October 19, 2018

Football sexual

A person who when talking about themselves, instead describes the past four seasons of THEIR football team.

I used to like to go to Applebee's, but now the bar is full of football sexuals.

by Lindydanny March 16, 2019

Fantasy Football

A online game where you pick football players to be on your team and your team's success depends on them.

Because Jack plays fantasy football, he is more interested in the NFL.

by hanalele alliter December 23, 2018

Football

The most popular sport of the world. And a sort of worshipping for some fans in England. Played on a simple grounds with simple rules. The very nature of the game seems overly simple and one dimensional, but there is no other sport that inspires so much passion and commitment by fans.

Football is a simple game, it's being played for 90 minutes and in the end, germans stand victorious

by TheOneWhoNamedAllThings January 16, 2019