turtle wax

The act of ejaculating in someone's helmet while it is left unattended, then getting them to place it on their head. A practical joke particular to the military.

Joe left his helmet in the truck so I rubbed one out in it then he put it on, it was the perfect turtle wax.

by Aco FIST October 22, 2013

Turing-like

Any shitty programming language with no practical purpose. Usually slow and cumbersome, and with a quirks that no other programming language has/should have.

Named after the educational programming language from Holtsoft.

"FUCK! The York University assembly language is a Turing-like!"

by Turing_Tyrant May 15, 2014

turn a date

Complete a prostitution transaction from beginning to end. Starts with when a ho can catch a date, ends when she leaves the john, either to quit for a while or to go find another date. Also called to turn a trick.

Girl, it's trick city out there! You can turn a date in no time flat!

by veiledvenus June 27, 2014

Turd Bandit

A sick prank where an unknown coworker defecates in another coworker's desk, usually the boss is the main target.

"The TURD BANDIT strikes again."

by Toxic Bananas July 19, 2014

turlet treat

Any food item comsumed while sitting on a public turlet, due to incapability of holding in one's grumpy long enough to finish a meal.

Most commonly occurs during a bang bang or the highly stigmatized double bang bang.

Steve indulged in a turlet treat at the local pizzeria.

by Grumpelstiltzkin January 18, 2016

turdness

A word describing the shape of an object similar to the shape of a turd.

The turdness of it all.

by Reggie Bush Heisman January 26, 2016

turkied up

To consume large amounts of wild turkey 101, get blacked out drunk, and make piss poor decisions

Dude#1. How you feeling this morning?
Dude#2. Like total shit. I got all turkied up, scored an 8 ball, blew all my money, and the wife is super pissed.

Dude#1. You will learn one of these days.

by Cheetoman69er February 4, 2017