Tampoline

Something girls use to bounce on. It is usually quite supple, though not, unfortunately, subtle. The sport of tampolining can be dangerous, with a possible risk of Contamplination. Side effects include sweating, dilated pupils, auditory and visual hallucinations, most commonly seeing red stars in front of your eyes or a fat man in a tutu who shouts "EMINENCE! EMINENCE!" and hearing the Travelling Wilburys when the sun sets. Your voice may also go up an octave and start sounding slightly like Roy Orbison and you may feel a constant need to rub yourself erotically on anything vaguely related to Norway. This disease is not generally serious, though the worst cases have been known to result in proposal, leading to decreased spatal awareness and being cloven in two. Where more common diseases like Shureydia and Fistula Sylvanitis can be caused by such rudimentary items like cinnamon and meatballs, Contamplination is actually cured by rubbing cloves all over your body.

"And I found out the bitch had Contamplination... so I ground her with my pestle"
"I wish I could tampoline, but unfortunately I have a penis."
"My thighs hurt, too much tampolining last night"
"Daniel avoided Contamplination with a swift clove enema. It hurt, but it was worth it."

by a victim of tampolining January 22, 2009

trampolinist

someone who has the guts to jump 30 ft. in the air do multiple flips and manage to stay in a tiny box part of usa-GYMNATICS.

I'm a trampolinist, gymnastics was'nt gutsy enough for me.

by KayRy November 13, 2007

frozen tampon

A tampon that has placed in the freezer in order to give oneself a pleasurable rush of cool in the hot summer.

"I make myself frozen tampons because they hit the spot way better than popsicles."

by abortion is fun June 29, 2007

Tampa

A cesspool of bad drivers, seedy strip clubs, metal bands, old farts, ghetto wanna-be rich kids, and a college that breeds criminal activity. In the last 5 years, voted the second worst city for drivers, in the top ten in pedestrian injuries/deaths, 2nd in worst allergy related illness, 3rd most depressing city, 6th worst city for sports, 9th worst city of overall credit score boasting a 675, and the 7th most dangerous city in the united states. If you are coming from up north to move down here, turn around. We're already full.

To get away from Tampa, I would shoot myself in the face.

by Myke Vilches July 31, 2005

The Drunken Tampon

Apparently the foolish kids in my generation thought getting drunk the regular way wasn't working too good so they created "the drunken tampon." It involves soaking a tampon in vodka then inserting it into your vagina, or if you're a boy your anus. I don't know if this results in actual intoxication but why don't you try it and let me know! haha

We totally convinced Sue to do the drunken tampon last nite!

by cArMaSaBiTcH August 12, 2009

Tampon Dick Fart

1. A friend who is very nice to you, because he treats you with respect and dignity because of your personality and looks.
2. Can be found at CVS for $1.99.
3. Your teacher who gives you many quizzes.
4. Your mom or dad's Chinese name, or favorite food.

I said to my friend, because I looked up the definition on UrbanDictionary.com, "Hey (insert name here), you are a Tampon Dick Fart."

by Hugh G. Rekshion December 31, 2008

tampi

A special kind of tampon that is shot out of a gun (called a tam-pod) and is launched into another woman's vagina at 795 TPM (tampons per minute) this helps those sudden attacks of nasty smelling blood shooting out of your crotch!

SHIT, THERES BLOOD SHOOTING OUT OF MY VAGINA, WHO WANTS TO USE THE TAM-POD AND SHOOT A TAMPI INTO it?

by assman February 22, 2004