The Muffin Man

A creepy tool who preys on unnattractive younger high school girls. He likes to wear just one ear bud at a time, rendering any song in stereo beyond his comprehension. For supper, he likes to eat a salad with zesty french dressing, but not too much, or he'll have bad dreams about his very small feet falling through sewer grates.

J: Hey, let's go cockblock the Muffin Man!
L: Block what?

by Juke McKones May 29, 2011

Dirty Muffin

During intercourse, when a woman defecates on a man's scrotum after anal sex; Therefore turning his testicles into a feces flavored snack.

The old man's dirty muffin was devoured by the crack whore.

by Allen Schmidt August 2, 2004

Wobble Muffin

A wobbling muffin

I'm eating a Wobble Muffin.

by Prendy October 16, 2008

MUFFIN HAPPY

A severe craving for muffins, especially when you have the munchies.

"You ate THE WHOLE pan of muffins!?"
"Sorry I got muffin happy."

by zeus2008 January 11, 2009

Stud Muffin

A highly sexual well endowed Man Stud, who has LOVE Handles Muffin Top at the waistline.

My new boyfriend is Stud Muffin!

by Truthageddon September 8, 2015

flossing the muffin

When a thong is showing on someone with a muffin top

that thong is totally flossing the muffin

by toiletcake March 16, 2009

Crud Muffin

A large puffy poop turd

Michelle : Oh Mark I sure did miss your hard dick inside me Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Mark : Oh Michelle I sure did miss your soft pussy YEE! YEE! YEE! (splat) OOPS!
Michelle : OOPS! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SMELL?
Mark : Oh nothing just a little Crud Muffin come on let's cuddlefuck!
Michelle : LITTLE IT'S THE SIZE OF A SOFTBALL? You pooped a Crud Muffin on my leg while you was pounding my pussy! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY BED!
Mark : Uh I believe this is our bed and I want to cuddlefuck!
Michelle : Uh we are divorced and this is my bed GET THE FUCK OUT!
Mark : (sniff) (sniff)
Michelle : And take your god damn Crud Muffin with you! (splat)
Steve : Hey Mark you look so sexy with that Crud Muffin on your face Mmmm!
Mark : Wow Steve thanks! (sniff) (sniff)
Michelle : MARK WHY THE HELL IS SOME GUY LICKING YOUR FACE AND RUBBING YOUR COCK!
Mark : I don't know but it feel's kinda nice! (sniff) (sniff)
Michelle : GROSS! Im calling the cops!
Steve : You know Mark in prison you can get fucked in the ass and blow Crud Muffins everywhere!
Mark : Wow that sounds kinda nice! (sniff) (sniff)
Michelle : Hello Police two gay guy's broke into my house and there are Crud Muffins everywhere!
Steve : Mmmm! Crud Muffins! (wink)

by SlopNChop November 30, 2018