by Yeroner,Yoosumshit October 19, 2019
Get the behind the church mug.by Tominator 1401. September 5, 2020
Get the Church Voice mug.A Sunday-services attendant whose purported task is merely to see to da needs of da parishioners, but whose real job is to quell noisy stir-crazy children who would much rather be playing outside in da fresh air and sunshine, rather than being compelled to sit still and keep quiet inside a stuffy musty meeting-hall for two hours.
If churches would offer more-generous helpings of ice cream and/or an erectory as incentives to attend their boring sawdusty-dry sermons, there would likely be less need for church (h)ushers to be on hand to deal with crankily-impatient youngsters and teenage boys.
by QuacksO January 30, 2023
Get the church (h)usher mug.by NatorGreen7000 February 16, 2023
Get the SFC ( Safe for Church ) mug.For when your D&D party doesn't want to deal with the DM's bullshit, and just burns down the building/church/tower that contains the encounter that they had worked for weeks on.
"You see several Mind Flayers through the open doors of the church. Will you go inside to confront them and save the town?"
"We're going to burn it down."
"What?"
"We're going to Commit Tentacle Church on it."
"We're going to burn it down."
"What?"
"We're going to Commit Tentacle Church on it."
by Marven Songsteel December 2, 2019
Get the Commit Tentacle Church mug.A church leaver is a Christian who has decided he no longer wants to be a part of a local congregation. So he simply stops attending church, and no longer fellowships with Christians, and no longer submits himself to the authority of any church leadership structure. He has not necessarily ceased his belief in God and Jesus and the Bible, but rather he has chosen to no longer participate in church attendance, and all the trappings that come with church attendance.
Most church leavers who wish to remain devout in their faith rely heavily upon the internet for sermons and for indepth Bible research. They find comfort in being able to watch a pre-recorded YouTube sermon at their leisure, or else to be an anonymous "lurker" during a live webcast of a live Sunday morning sermon being sent out from some church elsewhere in the world.
They will sometimes interact on social media groups with other Christians where they might discuss theological matters and even ask for prayer. But the priority of a church leaver to remaining uncommitted to any one church body or group of believers is never compromised.
Most church leavers who wish to remain devout in their faith rely heavily upon the internet for sermons and for indepth Bible research. They find comfort in being able to watch a pre-recorded YouTube sermon at their leisure, or else to be an anonymous "lurker" during a live webcast of a live Sunday morning sermon being sent out from some church elsewhere in the world.
They will sometimes interact on social media groups with other Christians where they might discuss theological matters and even ask for prayer. But the priority of a church leaver to remaining uncommitted to any one church body or group of believers is never compromised.
I became a church leaver when I realized that church attendance was more burdensome than simply worshiping God on my own.
by Innocent Byproduct May 22, 2021
Get the church leaver mug.All you have to do is whatever I say forever regardless of whether or not the direct or peripheral effect of doing that is bad and regardless of the outcome...
A muffin "The church can save this country!"
Hym "Then why is it not doing that?"
A muffin "Uh... Well, you're not doing what I say forever."
Hym "Right, but if you believe that then you should just be doing that anyway, right? Like, you could save the country... But you're not doing it so..."
A muffin "Withholding aid and resources as punishment for non-compliance is part of the religion I'm doing to you."
Hym "Yeah, ok, so it can't save the country... It's harming the country by withholding aid (arbitrarily) and you're offering to STOP DOING THE THING YOU'RE DOING... In exchange for forever-compliance?"
A muffin "Correct."
Hym "So, you're not saving the country. You're destroying the country until everyome does what you want?"
A muffin "Correct... BUT! I COULD be saving it instead... But I'm not going to unless you fuck your sister."
Hym "Then why is it not doing that?"
A muffin "Uh... Well, you're not doing what I say forever."
Hym "Right, but if you believe that then you should just be doing that anyway, right? Like, you could save the country... But you're not doing it so..."
A muffin "Withholding aid and resources as punishment for non-compliance is part of the religion I'm doing to you."
Hym "Yeah, ok, so it can't save the country... It's harming the country by withholding aid (arbitrarily) and you're offering to STOP DOING THE THING YOU'RE DOING... In exchange for forever-compliance?"
A muffin "Correct."
Hym "So, you're not saving the country. You're destroying the country until everyome does what you want?"
A muffin "Correct... BUT! I COULD be saving it instead... But I'm not going to unless you fuck your sister."
by Hym Iam March 29, 2024
Get the The church can save this country mug.