closet candy crusher

One who secretly smokes methamphetamine out of hookers buttholes using a special ass bong device. It is like a normal bong except that the bottom is open, allowing the water chamber to be the rectum of said hooker.

Bro: "Yo man I heard Randy is a closet candy crusher. Dude smokes ice out of skank booty."

Bro2: "Damn, I knew I shouldn't have let him borrow my assbong. Oh well YOLO!"

Bro: "Nasty mang, you probably got mouth herpes now."

by the mysterious j September 07, 2013

Healing Closet

The place where you stay to heal after a heart break. There's a bunch of people in there. Some people may even stay there forever.

My ex girlfriend does not text me back, she may be in the healing closet

by Mr Plenty August 16, 2022

Closet Beagle

Usually found in the Mid-west, a renouned breed of dog that resides 100% of it's life in a "Ginger"'s closet. The Closet Beagle and the Ginger usually bond for life, creating an inner world of fantasy and illusions. The most notable Closet Beagle was "Bagel", owned by a Ginger in Kansas, Bagel became the mascot of mid-west started "Kult", a transendental meditaion group whos core value set revolves around the Duality of Man.

You know, Ben certainly is a Closet Beagle, always alone and only associates with Gingers.

by Quart-a-Milk April 02, 2010

Closet Fambam

A person who acts like they don't care about anyone, but deep down they really do have their good friends' backs.

Guy: That kid is so mean, he only cares about himself.
Girl: That's so not true, he's my friend, and he's a total closet fambam.

by closetfambam July 20, 2010

Closet Heretic

Someone who follows the path of all things right and just. But with an inner desire to cause mayhem, destruction or to believe in heretical beings/ideologies with said desire occasionally coming to the surface.

Connor is such a Closet Heretic, he always chooses chaos while preaching about justice.

by Brettie1234 January 09, 2018

In the closet

Someone who's LGBTQQIA+ but hasn't come out yet

James was in the closet for ten years after realising that he was a trans man.

by Beyhive-StarWarsFan January 29, 2022

In the closet

A person hiding there sexuality

guy: hey wanna make out?
other guy: ...
guy: ... but not like in a gay way man
other guy: ... :(
other guy: but I wanted to in a gay way :C...
guy: *blushing* woahh man chill...
other guy: wow your that much in the closet?
guy: ...

by gaycrow May 04, 2022