The Kinsey Scale is an apparatus, somewhat resembling a standard bathroom scale, which quantifies whether its user is light in the loafers. Before deployment, each Kinsey scale is taken to gay saunas and drag queen shows to be carefully calibrated, based on this standard:
0 Exclusively heterosexual
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual
The result, on a scale of zero to six, is displayed using the six colours of the Baker pride flag. If the user is entirely light in the loafers, all six colours will illuminate like a rainbow; if the user is entirely straight, the whole display fades to monochrome.
0 Exclusively heterosexual
1 Predominantly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
2 Predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual
3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual
4 Predominantly homosexual, but more than incidentally heterosexual
5 Predominantly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
6 Exclusively homosexual
The result, on a scale of zero to six, is displayed using the six colours of the Baker pride flag. If the user is entirely light in the loafers, all six colours will illuminate like a rainbow; if the user is entirely straight, the whole display fades to monochrome.
I picked up a used Kinsey Scale in a local department store as part of an ongoing promotion, in which clients are encouraged to collect Kinsey points and redeem them for valuable prizes. Apparently Ellen, the lady on the telly, managed to collect all six Kinsey points and redeem them for a toaster oven - so maybe that's the incentive I should try next?
There's also the Klein Scale, which runs from one to seven on multiple factors, including whether the user is wearing Calvin Klein or BumChums as undergarments. A bit more complex, but it seems to have a few interesting possibilities.
There's also the Klein Scale, which runs from one to seven on multiple factors, including whether the user is wearing Calvin Klein or BumChums as undergarments. A bit more complex, but it seems to have a few interesting possibilities.
by bitchuck August 24, 2024
Get the Kinsey Scale mug.First-known documented scale by an Eastern Bloc author (Nichita Smochină of Moldavia) created for men and women courting one another to rate flirting and kissing on a scale of 1 to 9 (Communist belief did not allow for a 10). The original scale was published in 1930 by Smochină's in the anthology, Cunoștințe Utile ("Useful Knowledge").
As the story goes, Smochină was in Paris at the time, and met a young woman who simply could not flirt or kiss. When he tried to explain to his friends how poorly this woman communicated and later smooched, there was simply no language for explaining this problem. That night, Smochină created the famous Smochină Smooch Scale in one draft. Many say he was divinely inspired.
The rating for #1 took off and gained quite a bit of fame internationally. In its original form, it was "Ăsta se sărută ca o sardină rece de la Marea Neagră" (This one kisses like a cold sardine from the Black Sea.) By the time is was used in speakeasies in Chicago, it had been notably shortened to "Ca un peşte rece" (Like a cold fish).
As the story goes, Smochină was in Paris at the time, and met a young woman who simply could not flirt or kiss. When he tried to explain to his friends how poorly this woman communicated and later smooched, there was simply no language for explaining this problem. That night, Smochină created the famous Smochină Smooch Scale in one draft. Many say he was divinely inspired.
The rating for #1 took off and gained quite a bit of fame internationally. In its original form, it was "Ăsta se sărută ca o sardină rece de la Marea Neagră" (This one kisses like a cold sardine from the Black Sea.) By the time is was used in speakeasies in Chicago, it had been notably shortened to "Ca un peşte rece" (Like a cold fish).
by TexasJewBoy September 27, 2024
Get the Smochină Smooch Scale mug.by Adujasty343 June 14, 2025
Get the <.7.9.7.6.>Full Scale Replica<.7.9.7.6.> mug.by Adujasty343 June 14, 2025
Get the <.7.9.7.6.>full scale replica<.7.9.7.6.> mug.The grenglish scale is the scale of intensity of grenglish. It's shown by adding more grenglish. For each grenglish it's 10x worse. Each grenglish is connected with an i. So 2 on the grenglish scale (10x worse than normal grenglish) would be shown as grenglishigrenglish.
(Grenglish is another definition I made. Its a combination of gen Z + gen alpha brainrot + prison slang)
(Grenglish is another definition I made. Its a combination of gen Z + gen alpha brainrot + prison slang)
"Why do you speak a 2 on the grenglish scale?"
"Imagine a 7 on the grenglish scale. That would be horrifying"
Translations:
0 scale
"The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"
1 scale
“Yo, that fast brown fox be hoppin’ over that slow-ass doggo, fr.”
2 scale
“Ayo that speed demon fox finna bounce ova that crusty ol’ dawg like no cap, fr fr, sksksk.”
3 scale
“BRO THAT ZOOM-ZOOM BROWN FOXY SKRRRT-SKRRRT ON DAT DEADASS DOGGO LAYING WIT NO JUICE. JUMPS? NAH, HE SPINNIN’ THRU YO SOUL, YEET YEET YEET!!! 😩🔥💀 SKRT SKRT SKRT SKRT snacc alert”
Anything past 3 is considered to be at an incomprehensible level of brainrot, and is theorized to infect individuals with grenglish.
"Imagine a 7 on the grenglish scale. That would be horrifying"
Translations:
0 scale
"The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog"
1 scale
“Yo, that fast brown fox be hoppin’ over that slow-ass doggo, fr.”
2 scale
“Ayo that speed demon fox finna bounce ova that crusty ol’ dawg like no cap, fr fr, sksksk.”
3 scale
“BRO THAT ZOOM-ZOOM BROWN FOXY SKRRRT-SKRRRT ON DAT DEADASS DOGGO LAYING WIT NO JUICE. JUMPS? NAH, HE SPINNIN’ THRU YO SOUL, YEET YEET YEET!!! 😩🔥💀 SKRT SKRT SKRT SKRT snacc alert”
Anything past 3 is considered to be at an incomprehensible level of brainrot, and is theorized to infect individuals with grenglish.
by Donttuchmywizardstaff June 27, 2025
Get the Grenglish scale mug.Ex 1: I just ripped one of 8.5 on the sphincter scale
Ex 2: that wind was for sure a 9.1 on sphincter scale, had it been passed 10 I would've shart those pants
Ex 2: that wind was for sure a 9.1 on sphincter scale, had it been passed 10 I would've shart those pants
by simdugz February 6, 2025
Get the Sphincter scale mug.A person who repeatedly checks their body weight multiple times a day, especially after using the restroom.
Tim: Where is Terry?
Tom: Probably checking his weight.
Tim: Has he been going to the gym or changed his diet?
Tom: No, he’s just a Scale Squatter.
Tom: Probably checking his weight.
Tim: Has he been going to the gym or changed his diet?
Tom: No, he’s just a Scale Squatter.
by King Ricardo III May 19, 2023
Get the Scale Squatter mug.