roast ham

An older expression referring to a spanking, from street slang of the mid-1900s.

"Roast ham" = spanked ass. Documented use of the term "roast my ham" to mean "spank my ass" dates to 1959, with the connotation of a violent spanking of the female ass.

by Loren Zabot March 24, 2007

HAM COMA!

A hypothetical, slightly facetious, explanation for what happens when a potential significant other, usually male, suddenly cuts off all ties of communication for no apparent reason.

Rachael: "Man! Louis was all lovey-dovey on Thursday, but he hasn't answered any of my texts all weekend! What's his deal, ya think?!"

Kate: "Well, he probably ate some ham after work and passed out in a massive HAM COMA! You just can't function when you get one of those puppies!

by Flanarama-ding-dong January 10, 2009

Salty Ham

Ham that was prepared by a woman who would salt fish from the dead sea.

Your fag son isn't bringing any salty ham into this house!

by Dylar February 13, 2009

Going ham

Verb. To go crazy, all out, like a bro.

Did you see Abby going ham at the show lastnight? Yeah the finch always goes ham.

by l3ahlives4br3akdowns October 27, 2010

ham doctor

Future slang for a really, really, shockingly nasty sex act.

"Dude, if she'll let you be the ham doctor, marry her!"

by refriedwhiskey July 22, 2009

West Ham

Crap football team from East London which is supported by assorted tosspots from Essex. They claim to have won the world cup but they haven't actually won anything in living memory. Their fans think they are the bollox but are better known for lying under minibuses crying, "I've had enough!" Eh, Cass?

West Ham? Do me a favour, Son!

by NOLU October 7, 2011

Ham Sandwhich

When you are having sex with an old lady, take her flabby vagina lips and stick them between her butt cheeks, and make her clinch her butt cheeks so the vagina lips stick out in between then jerk off into the middle of it, and take a bite.

One day matt was feeling quite hungry and wanted a Ham Sandwhich. Later on an idea poped into his head. Soon there after he went to a retirement home. He met up with an elderly lady by the name of Thelma. Knowing back in the day that she use to be quite the piece of meat, he soon pitched his idea. He made her take off her pants and pull down her diaper and stretch her flabby vagina lips between her butt cheeks and clinch her butt cheeks down on to her vagina lips. Not long after, he whiped out his sad excuse for a penis, and jerked off with what little sperm he could onto the vagina lips. After that still being quite hungry he took a nice bite out of it, solving his empty stomach.

by Crusty Jizz September 22, 2008