A Sunday-services attendant whose purported task is merely to see to da needs of da parishioners, but whose real job is to quell noisy stir-crazy children who would much rather be playing outside in da fresh air and sunshine, rather than being compelled to sit still and keep quiet inside a stuffy musty meeting-hall for two hours.
If churches would offer more-generous helpings of ice cream and/or an erectory as incentives to attend their boring sawdusty-dry sermons, there would likely be less need for church (h)ushers to be on hand to deal with crankily-impatient youngsters and teenage boys.
by QuacksO January 30, 2023
Get the church (h)ushermug. Repeated public lies that reveal a rhetorical pattern where simply to misinform is not sufficient; rather, one's lies must be as close as possible to the exact opposite of the truth, prompting speculation that this represents a form of worship for the inversion of truth.
Senator Doubledown smiled as he held up a snowball before his peers. "Looks like it's getting colder to me," he said, simultaneously securing a promotion to cardinal in The Church of the Big 180 (CoB 180).
by jimbo92107 May 23, 2015
Get the Church of the Big 180mug. by Dr. Deloris January 29, 2024
Get the Speech About Churchmug. Any of a group of churches emphasizing holiness, purity, and sanctification as a result of being filled with the holy spirit in a non-fundamentalistic manner.
by Jesuslover40 May 7, 2018
Get the holiness churchmug. A person who worships the Christian/Catholic faith to the point of practically living inside the church but at the same time not wanting to become a priest/nun.
by TheNightParade June 17, 2023
Get the Church-ratmug. by santa is not real April 22, 2018
Get the god churchmug. a history professor: students, what's the fastest way to go hell and to be punished by the Unforgivables?
student: to become a sort Jesus Christ the real historical character in the modern world and reform The Church by becoming a Communist?
professor: Correct you are, but this only applies, as you yourself pointed out, to Jesus the historical character, well since the Romans were pantheists and because a lot of people, even historians, would disagree as to who Jesus the religious figure is or should be.
student: to become a sort Jesus Christ the real historical character in the modern world and reform The Church by becoming a Communist?
professor: Correct you are, but this only applies, as you yourself pointed out, to Jesus the historical character, well since the Romans were pantheists and because a lot of people, even historians, would disagree as to who Jesus the religious figure is or should be.
by Sexydimma January 12, 2013
Get the reform The Churchmug.