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Canada's History

An obscure sexual act between distance lovers, so named after the lengthy and distant span of Canada's history. Two people using computer technology, or phones if you must, lie nude in a self-dug ditch, preferably in the woods, that has been well-urinated in. The technology is to maintain audio and/or video communication between the two lovers. While discussing the mating habits of woodland creatures, the couple masturbates furiously until achieving orgasm, at which moment they are to leap out of the hole and climb the nearest tree to its top. While the adrenaline is still fresh and powerful (like the urine) from the act, the lovers take a deep, slow breath from atop the tree. This links the post-coitus mates together through the power of nature, which smells and tastes like Canada's History.
When Johnny and Sally were apart, attending college in different states, they maintained their amorous attitudes toward each other by sharing Canada's History once or twice a week.
by Hans Van Dingo February 4, 2010
mugGet the Canada's Historymug.

Russian History

The worst fucking class on the fucking planet
Russian history isn’t worth the memes it’s just a bad class DONT TAKE IT
by uptight_and_blind420 June 1, 2018
mugGet the Russian Historymug.

Canada's History

A sexual game involving two or more people, where the parties involved mutually insert pieces of hockey equipment into the anal cavity. The game is played on a point system, where different pieces of equipment are worth different points. For example, a puck is worth 5 points and a hockey stick is worth 3 points for every inch that the receiving partner can insert into the anal cavity. If any participant is able to insert an entire goalie mask into the cavity, that person is automatically declared the winner.

Notes:
Personal lubricant is allowed for this game, as long as all partners are using equal amounts, and as long as the lubricant is maple syrup.

In Canada, the game is usually played with music from the band Rush and taped skits from the show SCTV playing in the background.
Tom was complaining of soreness after a long night of playing "Canada's History."
by NothingAsItSeems February 5, 2010
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Canada's History

The act of utilizing a pair of moose antlers as gynecological stirrups while pouring maple syrup out of the Stanley cup onto your partner. Spanking with Canadian bacon is optional.
Look out baby. tonight I'm going to school you in Canada's History
by battleboybassist February 4, 2010
mugGet the Canada's Historymug.

canada's history

Skull-fucking a moose skull with maple-syrup drenched penis and cumming into the Stanley Cup.
After watching Colbert tonight, I can't wait to get a hold of the Stanley Cup and perform Canada's history.
by kindlegume February 4, 2010
mugGet the canada's historymug.

Canada's History

Canada's History is a mating ritual in which Stephen Colbert will utilize a replica Stanley Cup as a pump as he wears moose antlers. As the act is going on, the partner uses maple syrup to lube the Stanley Cup replica. This act has yet to be successful.
I heard Stephen Colbert wants to explore Canada's History with you.
by BBFlights February 4, 2010
mugGet the Canada's Historymug.

Canada's History

What I'd like to do to Stephen Colbert.

Also known as 'The Aristocrats'.
"Stephen Colbert is so hot. I'd like to Canada's History him all night long.
by Henrietta Huggins VIII February 5, 2010
mugGet the Canada's Historymug.

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