Lady Paper

A term that can be used as a more delicate way of referring to tampons or pads.

To another female "Hey, do you have any Lady Paper you can spare? My monthly visitor arrived a little early!"

by McHeather February 23, 2009

sand paper handjob

when you partner takes a fine grit piece of sandpaper and wraps it around your dong before jerking you off. Usually done to one who is passed out as an act of revenge. Sometimes the assailant will pour 151 alcohol on it so the burn will really intensify.

Dustyn woke up this morning to a bloody crotch. He then remembered passing out drunk after sharing a bottle of 151 with his ex boyfriend Rich. As an act of sabotage Rich waited until Dustyn fell asleep and gave him a sand paper handjob topping it off with a little 151 to boot.

by dusty zub's August 17, 2011

Shit Paper

A colloquial term for the flimsy, nigh see-through, but yet sandpapery tissue in most businesses that is intended for wiping one's ass. This paper usually falls apart upon contact with shit and becomes soggy, while still punishing your hole with 100 grit dingleberries.

The shit paper at work sucks! Not only is my ass still covered in shit, but I feel like I wiped with a lava rock!

by Jackieboy17 July 11, 2017

punished the toilet paper

had a BM, diarrhea, pooped

coined while camping after telling the group the ranger was replenishing the toilet paper, but two guys heard me say "punishing the toilet paper". We decided it's a good way to say, had a healthy shit, or perhaps the runs, without actually saying things of that ilk

"Oi, after all that greasy food last night, I really punished the toilet paper this morning."

"After riding my bike for 50 miles with no toilet in sight, I badly need to punish the toilet paper."

"Those women in the movie Bridesmaids really punished the toilet paper."

by yewbetcha September 11, 2011

type on paper

when someone is exactly what you would go for in a relationship

"You're my type on paper"

by am.x. July 14, 2017

Toilet paper chicken

A sign of a slightly dysfunctional share house. The toilet paper has run out and everyone bitches about it but there has been no agreement to take it in turns to buy more and no conversation occurs to resolve the situation. The person who bought the last packet flat out refuses to buy more out of principle so it is a game of chicken between the remaining housemates to see who gives in first and buys some more.

"We ran out off ass-wipe and my housemates have been playing toilet paper chicken for almost a week now. I'm really getting sick of using tissues"

by Pajama Bandit October 13, 2009

Sand papering

to dry-hump a broad who doesn't want anything to do with you.

"you should have seen this broad I sand papered on the weekend."

by Glovemonkey June 6, 2003