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Premasturbated murder

In law school, you learn this is murder 1 where the defendant knowingly planned the attack and jacked they penis off good to the thought of dead bodies and blood and guts
Joey got a conviction for premasturbated murder. He killed a dead body and ate its cock and jacked off to it
by D Flawless February 11, 2022
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Premature Rejaculation

When someone you’re not interested in pursuing romantically or sexually rejects you without you ever making any advances towards them.
Mal: “Hey Jon how’s van life going?”
Jon: “You’re obviously talking to me because you find me extremely attractive, most women do. I gotta tell ya I’m really into tall blondes with big tits and you ain’t it honey.”

Mal: “Came here to find out about van life. Stayed for the premature rejaculation.”
by .:Madskillz:. March 23, 2022
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Premature Epackulation

A disease that plagues millions of FIFA Ultimate Team players each year. Relates to opening FIFA Ultimate Team packs prematurely prior to an upcoming promo.
Twitch user: "Zwe you should save those cracked packs for Ultimate TOTS." Zwebackhd: "Sorry bro but I suffer from premature epackulation, so it is physically impossible to save these packs for more 15 minutes or else I will combust."
by gmenrock May 21, 2022
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Premature Invitulation

When someone makes an invitation, usually to a home, before checking if it's okay with their spouse. Usually committed by a male.
"Hey, we're here with the chips and dips ringing the doorbell, but no one's answering."

"Oh, sorry it was a premature Invitulation. Not tonight fellas. Wifey said no."
by Daedalus22 August 19, 2022
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premature hehejaculation

A medical condition.

People suffering from this condition start laughing before the completing a joke.
Johny has a good stock of jokes and funny anecdotes to tell, but he suffers from premature hehejaculation.
by KulMan October 23, 2022
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Premarital Deepcleansing

When two religiously devoted cupcakke enthusiasts refuse to airhump each other any longer and aggressively sing"Squidwards Nose" while riding a splinter-filled plastic apparatus when huerny.
Bob: Jeffy Kins, we need to have a Premarital Deepcleansing. I am getting tired of watching that old lady ride squidwards nose in this deepthroat circus at 5am.
Jeff: Tf is wrong with you? let me finish airhumping at least.
by Whitty Corn Nobbler November 5, 2022
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premature undeadulation

Way to cause premature undeadulation coki....
by Chaz Almasy January 10, 2023
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