pluck my own sparrows

Waxing your testicles

If this lockdown lasts much longer I'll be forced to pluck my own sparrows

by hooblemeyer February 12, 2021

Not to butter my own toast

A phrase used before self praise in order to make oneself sound more modest

"Not to butter my own toast, but my fit is lookin mega fly today"

by Willththril April 18, 2021

Season My Own Skillet

Masturbate masturbate wank

I think I will stay in tonight and season my own skillet

by Donnia December 18, 2012

I reject your reality and substitute my own

"I reject your reality and substitute my own" is often said when someone is completely unwilling to accept the truth and instead chooses to create their own version of reality. It's often used in a joking or sarcastic way to poke fun at people who are being stubborn or delusional.

Person 1: Dude, you failed the test. You need to study more next time.
Person 2: I reject your reality and substitute my own. I actually aced the test, but the teacher accidentally marked my answers wrong.
Person 1: Uh, yeah right. Keep telling yourself that.

by Obv troll is obvious April 8, 2023

i do my own stunts

You do your own things and don’t need anyone’s help because anyone else’s help is below standard and not realistic.

“Yeah, I do my own stunts, I don’t need you”

by Pineapples sit on the beach August 20, 2023

Rather eat my own shit

Used to express that you really don’t want to do something.

Are you going to the football game? Hell no, I’d rather eat my own shit.

by SiL3Nt J September 8, 2023

dead on my own schedule

When you make plans to do something with someone else, but when the time comes you're still asleep.

"Thanks, Karina. I really appreciate it."
"No problem. Now, go to sleep, we leave tomorrow."

You wake up, and head to Karina's room. She's still asleep.
"Karina," you say, shaking her by the shoulder.
"Huh? Wha? Huh?" she says, waking up.
"It's time to go. We're leaving today."
"Finally. I'm fucking dead on my own schedule."

by Fizar June 12, 2020