Beating the Mattress

Masturbation. Basically, if no one else is around, who are you going to beat it to but the mattress?

"John was beating the mattress so hard last night that I heard it through the wall."

"Jessica's out tonight. Guess it's me and the mattress."

by Apple-sucker July 26, 2012

Mattress Mick

When you're looking for a new mattress for you're bed you can call all the workers "mattress Mick" Or "MM" It's a cool popular name around Dublin Ireland.

"Mattress Mick I'm looking for a new mattress please help pAaAal "

by ShAwN iLy August 22, 2018

bang mattress

When your mum buys you a mattress, but you use it for banging

That bang mattress is tight!

by bangmattress March 12, 2016

car mattress

The back seat of a car covered in seamen stains and moist with vaginal secretions.

I did Debbie on the car mattress last night.

by Wafflehoff May 10, 2016

mattress holiday

A holiday on which most workers won't get a day off, but you'll probably be able to buy a mattress on the cheap.

Person 1: What even is the point of Flag Day, I still have to come into work.

Person 2: It's a mattress holiday.

Person 1: (checks newspaper) Huh, I guess these are some pretty good deals on memory foam.

by DryCleaningBuffalo December 27, 2018

Mattress Queen

A woman who is known to sleep around alot, that she is always on her back on the bed.

Doreen the mattress Queen likes to go steady with the footy team

by Glenn Griffiths August 30, 2006

walking mattress

A female military member that sleeps her way to promotions.

"Did you hear? That chick got promoted again for sleeping with a Staff NCO."
"That girl is such a walking mattress."

by marineseverywhere March 4, 2012