(hypothetical email response, in the tone of irony)
damn man,
this email, it made me shit the bed, it honestly did. i fell asleep and my "email" ding happened. (a nice littly diddy, my netbook sings at me when i get mail.)
mentioned email,
woke me for a light
sleep, i ate a shit ton of oreos earlier, now my bed is
oreo shit laden.
thanks for that
(read out loud in a tone of walken or shatner, your choice)