Whiskey Tortoise

Flaccid, impotent male genitals that result from consuming too much alcohol (esp. whiskey or bourbon).

"He got so drunk and later, in bed, he had a total whiskey tortoise. I lied and told him that it was fine and that all that mattered was being close to him."

by Tortoisemaster August 26, 2013

Touching The Tortoise

Masturbation of the male genitals

Touching the tortoise- masturbation

My girlfriend sent nudes, I’m going to touch my tortoise to them

by WillyMaster1001 November 4, 2023

joyful tortoise

nickname for Jeb Bush

The joyful tortoise lives in the state of Florida where adultery is the lowest per capita and it may be why it has the most cities that have Saint in their name.

by Coop Dupe January 13, 2020

Tortoise

Woman 60 years plus on the hunt for younger man.

She is a tortoise, her new boyfriend is 22 and she is 63

by crimson2435chin123 July 8, 2020

wheezing tortoise

someone who shot an ostrich in the last 34 minutes

he is a wheezing tortoise

by Human who is also an ostrich June 24, 2022

Flippy the tortoise

a cute little tortoise with the smarts of 10000000000000000000000 people she will take over your brain

omg, look at the tortoise!
oh that's flippy the tortoise don't make her mad or shell kill u

by kam the ham August 29, 2022

stroke the tortoise

Refers to masturbating an uncircumcised penis.

Hey, I was with Kenneth last Friday and he asked his girlfriend if she wanted to stroke the tortoise; in front of everyone.

by deepthong November 22, 2022