Tortoises are horrible, disgusting abominations ruled by the tyrant Presidant of the United Testudines of America, Donald J. Tortoise. These horrid BEAST where once peaceful with the turtles and terrapins, until they suddenly attacked, why they did this is still unknown, but Presidant Donald Tortoise is proven to be a part of it by Queen Turtahl IV of the TU/Testudine Kingdom's spy's. Hopefully someday the Turtles will successfully rise against these terrible tyrants. The shibe in the gif by the way, the tortoise is taking it as a slave.
Tortoises must all burn in hell as they are corrupted far to much to ever make peace. Turtles and terrapins are godly!
by Hi, I'm Steve May 9, 2018
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Hey, I was with Kenneth last Friday and he asked his girlfriend if she wanted to stroke the tortoise; in front of everyone.
by deepthong November 22, 2022
Get the stroke the tortoise mug.We were in a gay tussle when he used the tortoise tickler, and then he had to stop to wash his hands.
by Myspeakingpseudonym July 4, 2015
Get the tortoise tickler mug.by Stenhousemuir nill February 26, 2022
Get the Roller skating tortoise mug.When a big, beefy, silent, serious and wise guy is in love with a petite, agile, active and sunny girl, who is in love with the guy.
Normally this relations works like this: The guy (the tortoise) is the brains and brawns of the couple, and the girl (the hare) is the Public relationships Manager. She will start the 99% percent of all conversations with strangers while the tortoise hugs her from behind and hides himself behind her, in any other non-social activity, this is reversed: The tortoise would instruct the hare to climb on his back to carry her around everywhere like a human backpack, of course while constantly hugging him.
While in public the hare takes the dominant role to iniciate activities and talk to other people, this role is reversed in private: The guy takes the dominant role (sexually) and is the ones who tops. However, the tortoise still has the responsability to make sure his hare is comfortable and safe during sex. Is absolutly normal for the tortoise to eventually get his legs tired and fall off, in this case, the hare is allowed to cowgirl until climax or tiredness. In the later case, the two will just hug, kiss and rub thelselfs to eachother, while also both masturbating their partherns specifict reproductive aparatus.
Tortoise responsabilities: Teach your hare about life and make love to her.
Hare responsabilites: Keep your tortoise active with new stuff and make love to him.
Normally this relations works like this: The guy (the tortoise) is the brains and brawns of the couple, and the girl (the hare) is the Public relationships Manager. She will start the 99% percent of all conversations with strangers while the tortoise hugs her from behind and hides himself behind her, in any other non-social activity, this is reversed: The tortoise would instruct the hare to climb on his back to carry her around everywhere like a human backpack, of course while constantly hugging him.
While in public the hare takes the dominant role to iniciate activities and talk to other people, this role is reversed in private: The guy takes the dominant role (sexually) and is the ones who tops. However, the tortoise still has the responsability to make sure his hare is comfortable and safe during sex. Is absolutly normal for the tortoise to eventually get his legs tired and fall off, in this case, the hare is allowed to cowgirl until climax or tiredness. In the later case, the two will just hug, kiss and rub thelselfs to eachother, while also both masturbating their partherns specifict reproductive aparatus.
Tortoise responsabilities: Teach your hare about life and make love to her.
Hare responsabilites: Keep your tortoise active with new stuff and make love to him.
"Have you seen THAT guy that pick up Anna everyday?"
"Yeah, her boyfriend. She randomly found him roaming around and decided to adopt him."
"Wait, ins't that also the same guy that in collegue only spoke with teachers, uppercuted Jerry and stabed Flynt, and still got A+ in all assignatures?"
"Yeah... i saw him on the gym too, his arms and legs are made of adamantioum or something like that."
"Yeah but ins't he kinda chubby?"
"Well Anna loves him to death, so i guess he really is one of the "good guys"."
"Yeah.. they are totally a Tortoise and Hare."
"Yeah, her boyfriend. She randomly found him roaming around and decided to adopt him."
"Wait, ins't that also the same guy that in collegue only spoke with teachers, uppercuted Jerry and stabed Flynt, and still got A+ in all assignatures?"
"Yeah... i saw him on the gym too, his arms and legs are made of adamantioum or something like that."
"Yeah but ins't he kinda chubby?"
"Well Anna loves him to death, so i guess he really is one of the "good guys"."
"Yeah.. they are totally a Tortoise and Hare."
by Fgyjt May 25, 2023
Get the Tortoise and Hare mug.When you have to poop really bad and can't hold it,that is when you tortoise. You let the poo come out of your anus just a little bit so i looks like a tortoise coming out of it's Shell.
by Tortoising October 9, 2017
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"He got so drunk and later, in bed, he had a total whiskey tortoise. I lied and told him that it was fine and that all that mattered was being close to him."
by Tortoisemaster August 26, 2013
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