Sperm Toffee

Toffee made out of semen.

A man ejaculates into a bowl that either a woman or a drunken man is holding. The semen should then be put into a blender until it is whipped and resembles sour cream. Then it should be poured back into the bowl. Then the bowl is then covered by saran wrap and placed inside a refrigerator where it is left to cool. After several hours, the bowl should be removed from the fridge. Then the oven should be preheated to 400-450 degrees Fahrenheit. The saran wrap should be removed from the top of the bowl and the semen should be poured onto a cookie pan (you can make stars or any other shapes out of it if you please). Then the tray is put into the oven where it should be left for 2.5-3 hours. Remove from the oven and enjoy! Should be crispy and delicious! You can add any toppings you would like, I prefer sprinkles or Egesta sauce.

Mom: Anyone hungry from a long day at school?
Daughter: Yeah! What kind of snacks do you have Mom?
Mom: Your favorite! I just finished making sperm toffee!
Son: YAYYY, make sure to also bring the fresh Egesta sauce over!
Mom: Good thing I bought a new bottle at the confectionery earlier today!
Children: You're the best Mom!

by Pastry Chef May 25, 2009

Sperm Jail

Refers to the period of time immediately following sex in which a woman may lay on her back with her legs up in the air to keep the sperm inside of her vagina in an attempt to facilitate reproduction.

I'd make you breakfast right now but I'm in sperm jail for the next twenty minutes.

Hey, can you get me a magazine so that I can read something while I am stuck in sperm jail!

by Daytime Neologist December 16, 2010

Sperm Wars

An intense competition that spans over roughly nine months. A group of men ejaculate into a cup and afterwards the mens' semen is mixed. A female volunteer is then inseminated by the mixed semen and nine months later when the volunteer gives birth, the baby's physical appearance as well as DNA(to be certain) is compared with each of the players. The player who is the baby's father is the winner.

Note: For optimal results, players of different races are recommended.

Lets settle this over sperm wars.

by SpermWarrior January 16, 2011

sperm pooch

An enlarged area of the belly that some women have above their pubic mound, often referred to as F.U.P.A. fat upper pussy area, that appears to be a storage area for sperm. When a pregnant women's belly first starts to show she is said to have a sperm pooch. A woman that often has the sperm of more than one man inside of her at a time.

I fucked her so much she developed a sperm pooch. Her jeans don’t fit now because of her new sperm pooch. I like adding to a woman’s sperm pooch. I saw your woman out the other night, adding to her sperm pooch.

by Dancerooster August 25, 2020

sperm pirate

A woman who is so eager to get pregnant that she takes advantage of a man in order to get to his sperm.

Example#1: I met this really hot 35 year old women at a party last night. I thought we really had a connection, but it turned out she was just a sperm pirate.

Example#2: Ever since we agreed to have a baby, my wife has turned into a sperm pirate.

by Cynthia H. August 23, 2007

Sperm Racing

When two men ejaculate at the same time and put their sperm into a woman. Then they cheer on their sperm to see who will impregnate her first. True results will be finalized 9 months after said event.

Sperm Racing:Justin and Jared came at the same time and put it into Nicole.
GOGOGOGOGOGOGO! YAAAAAAAY! And now...We wait..

by Pheno Sony May 27, 2010

sperm pendulum

When a porn actress blows a guy and he cums. She then lets a big glob leak out of her mouth for the camera and instead of dripping off, it swings back and forth from her chin or from the guy's cock.

Man, did you see the sperm pendulum hanging off that girl's chin in that last scene?

by LarsGunblade August 6, 2020