Scaffolder

Professionals in the ancient art of erecting, modifying and removing scaffolding. Often referred to as erection specialists and are known for their strong work ethic. Their role on the job site is extremely critical to the project, as almost everyone uses the temporary structures they build. They do dangerous work so other trades don’t have to. Not only is their job hazardous, but it is also loud, sweaty and dirty, which also describes what they’re known for being like in the bedroom.

When they’re not being super badass construction workers or making babies, their hobbies include; getting tattoos, breaking the law, shooting guns, befriending strippers, buying drinks for everyone, hitting on your spouse, indulging in virtually every vice known to man, and occasionally failing breathalyzer tests.

“Ever since Diesel got a job as a scaffolder he became the most badass dude on the planet.”

- Diesel’s friend

“That scaffolder is the hardest working son of a bitch I’ve ever met.”
- Every other tradesperson

“I want to be a scaffolder but I just straight up don’t have the balls to do it.”
- Some guy watching people build scaffolding

“Every time I see that guy he’s drunk and high.”
“Yeah, he’s a scaffolder.”
“Oh, okay. That explains it.”
- Two observant bar patrons

“I fucking hate those guys. My wife left me for a scaffolder.”
- An Electrician

“Are you afraid of heights?”
- Foreman
“Nah, bro. Heights are afraid of me.”
- Journeyman Scaffolder

by Hand Grenade August 29, 2019

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